I huffed out a laugh, though my chest was tight. “That so?”
“Prettier than my ex.” She paused, squinting like she was trying to line me up. “Waaaay prettier.”
There it was. The dent in her armor.
I leaned in a little, elbows on my knees and drew a breath in preparation for what came next “Okay. What did he do?”
Her laugh was sharp and bitter. “It’s what hedidn’tdo, Tyler. He didn’t tell me the truth. Lied straight to my fucking face.”
I stayed quiet, letting her speak. I could hear the hurt in her voice cracking as she spoke. Tears rimmed her beautiful, hazel eyes, threatening to spill like a broken dam.
“He told me he didn’t want kids. That was his reason. Said he couldn’t see himself as a dad, wasn’t built for it, blah blah.” Hervoice hitched as she spoke, but she pushed through. “And then today I see this picture…him and his new girlfriend, showing off an ultrasound of their baby like it’s the best news in the fucking world.”
My jaw locked, Jesus, what a fucking asshole. That explained everything. The text, the tears, the performance she put on downstairs. She was bleeding it out and she didn’t even know it. The knowledge that she’d kept this in all day, on her own, almost broke me.
“Jesus, Orla.”
“Right?” she snapped, eyes blazing suddenly. “It’s fucking shitty.” She jabbed a finger sharply into my chest. Harder with each word. “So. Fucking. Shitty.”
I caught her wrist gently before she poked a hole straight through me. “Yeah. It is. I’m sorry.” I said firmly.
She leaned back, then forward again, restless as I still had hold of her wrist. “He was a coward. Should’ve just said I wasn’t good enough.”
That cut through me like a knife.
“Hey.” I leaned closer frowning, my voice firmer than I’d ever used with her before. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever fucking say that again. You hear me?” I’d never spoken to her like that before, but hearing her tear herself down lit something fierce and protective in me.
Her lips parted. She didn’t look away, even as her eyes clouded with a glassy sheen. For a second, she looked lost, fractured in a way she’d never let anyone see before.
She let out the most jagged laugh I’d ever heard and looked down at the floor. “Guess I should’ve just told you all this when we first met. So you could run screaming.”
“Orla…”
“This is me Tyler,” she yelled, the delicate strap of her yellow sundress slipping off her shoulder. “A stupidly emotional,slightly unhinged, biologically-ticking-time-bomb of a woman who just wants a family and someone to love her back.”
Fuck. My chest tightened until it was a struggle to breathe. I looped a finger into the stray strap, tracing the line of her skin as I replaced it, my knuckles skimming the warmth of her shoulder. I didn't want to let go. Instead, I caught her gently by both shoulders, holding her there until she had no choice but to look at me.
“You’re not unhinged,” I said, every word deliberate. “You’ve had a rough fucking day, you’re drunk, and your ex is a piece of shit. That’s it. That’s the whole story.”
She blinked hard, like she couldn’t quite believe me. “And you don’t want to run a mile after hearing all that?”
I shook my head. “No. Wanting something real doesn’t make you broken.”
She searched my eyes for a moment, her breath catching slightly. And then she grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me like she’d run out of reasons not to.
No warning. No hesitation. Just crashed her mouth to mine like she’d decidedfuck it.Her hands gripped around my bare biceps, desperate, and I swear I’d never wanted anything more.
I kissed her back, of course I did; I couldn’t stop myself. One hand tangled in her hair, the other gripping her waist, dragging her close. She was fire and ache and every fucking dream I’d had since London. Her trembling hands slid up my chest. My fingers skimmed the hem of her dress, tracing the soft, forbidden heat of her bare skin until they found the delicate edge of the lace at her hip. I was drowning in her. My tongue slid desperately against hers, but as I deepened the kiss I tasted the sharp, medicinal bitterness of the bourbon she’d practically bathed in.
Thats when I stopped.
My whole body screamed to keep going, but something in my chest pulled the brake. Every cell in my body screamed yes butthe part of me that cared so deeply for her whispered “Not like this.”
Not when she was shattered and drunk and bleeding out old wounds in my arms. Every muscle in my body went to war with me, begging me to keep going, but something deeper, something that cared about her more than I cared about breathing, refused to budge.
I broke the kiss, forehead still pressed to hers, panting. “Orla,” I whispered with a hoarse sound. “God, I want to. You have no idea how badly. But not like this. Not tonight.”
She froze and her face crumpled. Then, the tears came like the dam she’d been bracing all evening had finally burst.
