Like I had made her real.
Real.
She knew my face at the door tonight. Half a second, there and gone, and then she packed it away and looked at me like a stranger. That’s fine. I know how to wait.
I’ll wait as long as it takes.
Longer if I have to.
All those years, I didn’t know there was a real woman on the other side of those dreams. Tonight I do, and a real woman gets a say.
I could go to her. In here, distance is just a thing you decide — I’d cross it without a sound and she’d never know. I’m two steps toward her before I catch myself and stop.
She didn’t ask me in and I’m not going to add to everything she’s been through today.
So I hold the edge of her dream, and I watch. Dreams don’t stay easy forever, and when one turns, there’s nobody up top who can come down and pull her out. The others can sit on her door all night.Leif can case the building twice. None of them can stand where I’m standing.
This is the one part of her nobody else can cover. So I cover it.
I know what dreams can cost. I paid once.
She rolls over, settles deeper. Off at the far end a light comes up, warm and low, and then the dark above her starts filling in with stars, a few at first, then hundreds, and I don’t know if she’s making them or I am.
Starlight.
That’s going to stick.
I’ve never been more right about anything.
She’s not supposed to exist. I’ve known that a long time, and it never bothered me. She’s right in front of me now and I’m never leaving her alone again.
I can’t believe I actually found you.
I take a seat, my back against the plant.
Nothing in here is getting near her tonight.
Good.
“Sleep, Starlight. I’ve got you in your dreams.”
I whisper it knowing she can’t hear me.
I’m not going anywhere.
Chapter 21
Elara
There is a version of me that wakes up graceful. I’ve read about her. She stretches in golden light, pads to the kitchen with her hair falling in soft waves, and everyone loves her.
I wake up in stages, and none of the stages are flattering.
I’m in leggings and the sleep shirt with the hole in it, my hair is doing whatever it voted on overnight, and I’m halfway down the hall before my eyes fully commit to being open. Which is fine. My feet know the way, and my mouth is already going.
“Gerald. Gerald, wake up. You will not believe the dream I had.”
He’ll be exactly where I left him, which I appreciate about Gerald. Consistency.
