Sitting down, I hug a knee to my chest before picking up a fork. My morning text from Monz buzzes through. I don’teven have to check that it’s 7.15 am; she’s always right on schedule. I quickly shoot off a reply, letting her know I’ll meet her by the main library, as I do every morning, before tossing my phone aside and coming back to ‘breakfast’. I poke the creation once. It’s rock hard. I manage to cut a piece and douse it in maple syrup, hoping that will help. It doesn’t.
‘What classes do you have today?’ Ma stacks another plate. I’m glad it’s not mine.
‘Art,’ I answer, mid-chew, the taste of ash consuming my mouth.
‘Still? If you changed your major, why hasn’t your schedule been adjusted forrealclasses?’
There’s a moment of silence as I attempt to swallow. My throat is dry, and the lump won’t go down. I reach for the full water glass and feel sweet relief wash over me as the mass works its way down.
‘Artisa real class.’ My voice is hoarse from the assault.
‘Honey, you can play with your paints at home. Your brother is graduating this year, so why don’t you transfer to Empire City University? Then I can keep an eye on your classes, we could even have lunch together sometimes … maybe I could pull a few strings in the economics department. I don’t want you to become a homeless artist, starving on the streets.’
How many times can we have this same conversation?
I roll my lips between my teeth, contemplating my options. Do I want to argue with her today? I could probably act out the entire conversation to come. Maybe I should just nod and tune her out, but then she’ll take it as agreement and never let me forget it.
Screw it.I release my lips with a smack.
‘We’ve spoken about this, Ma.’ I use the side of my fork to saw off more pancake. ‘I don’t want to go to ECU. Besides, it’s only October. I still have till December to see if my artworks get any recognition, then you don’t need to worry about paying for a thing.’
‘Gia,’ she draws out my name sternly. ‘Did you change your major or not?’
‘I … plan to.’ It’s a lie. I’m loving my creative arts classes. In fact, I actually have to study a few teaching courses next semester. Which sounds way better than being taught economics by your mother.
‘Good, because I’m not paying all that tuition for you to splatter paint on a canvas.’
‘What is your problem?’ I drop the silverware, letting it clatter against my plate. ‘Is it really the money? Is my tuition actually costing that much?’
‘It’s not that we can’t afford it, Gia, but it looks good to have a scholarship on your resume. Your brother has had a scholarship since freshman year.’
‘For basketball, Ma.’
‘And look where that’s got him.’ She smiles proudly.
I’m not jealous of my brother. He’s going places, that’s for sure, but the thing is, Jace is playing for a national team next year because he worked hard and has an insane amount of skill. Not because he had a scholarship.
My earlier resolve is quickly withering as I stare down at the overcooked pancakes, trying to keep my emotions at bay. Arguing with her is futile, but when I say nothing, she sighs. Loudly. The disappointment is almost as suffocating as the smoke.
The screen door squeaks and Jace saunters over to the sink to wash the grease from his hands.
‘Looks great, Ma,’ he says with an enthusiasm that doesn’t reach his eyes. ‘You shouldn’t tire yourself out like this before work, though. Gia and I can sort ourselves out.’
I fight back the smile threatening to form at his attempt to convince Ma to stop cooking.
‘Don’t be silly! I love cooking for you two.’ She pats him on the back. ‘Besides, I feel like you’re never home anymore. Help yourself.’
Jace grabs one of the monstrosities from the steaming stack, rolls it up and inhales it. He doesn’t even wince when the crunching sound echoes in the room.
‘I’d best get going,’ Ma announces, wiping her hands on a chequered tea towel. ‘Try and convince your sister to take up a language? Or physics, like you.’
I bite my tongue. Literally. It’s either biting on the soft flesh or back at her, and Jace hates it when we argue.
He fills a glass of water and downs the entire thing before filling it up again. ‘She doesn’t need a second language. Her art is universal.’
I look up and he gives a reassuring wink. Always the one to defuse the tension.Such a Pisces.
‘Well, I just want what’s best.’ Ma gives a resigned sigh as she removes her apron. She kisses Jace’s cheek and the top of my head before grabbing her handbag from the side table. ‘Have a good day and make good decisions.’
