“Make yourself at home,” I mutter, shutting the door behind her.
She stretches. Smiles, probably. I don’t know. Her eyes are smug. I sit back down and glare at my laptop as if I can will it into submission.
“Still nothing,” I say after a beat. “Because apparently my entire frontal lobe has been hijacked by a wedding planner and a goat.”
Muffin yawns.
I fold my arms. “I don’t care how much Mason’s paying her—whatever she’s charging, it’s too much.”
The dog lifts her head and blinks slowly.
“She’s disorganized. Unprofessional.”
Muffin licks her paw.
“And she’s taking over everything. My lawn. My porch. My dog.”
Muffin thumps her tail once and then curls up tighter, as if she’s heard enough.
I lean back, stare at the ceiling, and sigh. “Sure, she’s cute. In a hyper-organized, ruins-your-life-with-a-smile kind of way.”
“But she’s not my type,” I say into the silence.
The silence doesn’t agree. I lean back again, stare at the ceiling, and scrub a hand over my face.
This week is supposed to be about focus. Work. Strategy. Partnership. Locking in Feldstein’s client. Closing the deal. Becoming the youngest named partner in the firm’s history.
That’s it. That’s the whole plan. No distractions. No detours. Just delivering the best motion of my life and collecting the brass ring.
Instead?
I’m chasing down goats and arguing with a woman who’s taken over my property.
Muffin sighs from the rug.
I open a new tab and click onto Reddit. I don’t even know why I do it.
Okay, I know exactly why I do it. I just want to see if anyone else on earth has lived through something like this.
I click into the “Am I the Asshole” subreddit.
My fingers hover over the keyboard.
Then I start typing.
And I let it all pour out—unedited, unfiltered.
Posted to r/AmItheAsshole
username: RestingBriefFace
Title: Am I the Asshole for wanting to evict a wedding planner from my guest house who’s turning my property into a three-ring circus (even though I technically agreed to host the event)?
Body:
I (36M)agreed—against my betterjudgment—to let my younger brother (30M) and his fiancée (28F) host their wedding on my property. His fiancée hired a wedding planner (29F) who has taken over my guest house, my yard, and possibly my will to live…
It’s a large estate I own in upstate NY. It has a carriage house/guest house out back that is now, unfortunately, occupied by this woman—the wedding planner.
