“When?” Leth snaps. “Before or after you fucked me? Before or after I…” He can’t say what he was about to say. Can’t admit that Evain stole away his heart as well.
“I won’t ask you to trust me now.” Evain looks paler than Leth has ever seen him. A nice approximation of human emotion. “I’ll let you bind me to your will. You’ll have complete control. No trust necessary.”
A binding. Walking around Lyrisenia with a pet demon on a leash. That’s not the kind of contract Leth dreamed of as a child.
“And give you the opportunity to talk me around?” Leth’s own weakness galls him. A year ago, he wouldn’t be standing around with his sword still in its scabbard. “I shouldn’t be talking to you now. I should kill you here.”
Evain spreads his arms. “Bind me, banish me, kill me. Whatever you want, I’ll make it easy for you. My true name is Aevendaris.”
The syllables strike the breath from Leth’s lungs, burning away his anger. The red scarf falls from his slack grip.
A true name is a demon’s greatest weakness. As if Evain ripped out his own heart and placed it still beating in Leth’s trembling hands. No. It’s a far more complete surrender than simply giving up a heart.
“Use that name to bind me,” Evain says. “Create a contract entirely on your terms. My life and all my power are yours.”
Stumbling back again, Leth breaks his gaze away from Evain’s tense face.
He can’t deal with this.
Evain calls his name, but Leth doesn’t turn back. He strides across the snow-covered road to where Daziroth still stands warily. The horse nuzzles Leth’s ear when he takes the reins, and Leth barely feels his soft nose or the heat of his breath. There’s a disconnection between Leth’s mind and body.
His limbs cooperate enough that he manages to swing up into the saddle. As soon as he’s up, Daziroth moves a few steps towards Evain, but he stops when Leth tugs the reins.
Leth finally looks down at Evain again. Even from his height on Daziroth’s back, Evain’s presence still feels too huge and overwhelming. The desperation in his red eyes looks so deceptively human.
“If you have to leave, go into town,” Evain says. “It’s safer there. I won’t follow.”
“Aevendaris.” The name feels sharp on Leth’s tongue. He swallows the shards of his pride, and asks the only question he really cares about, even though he can’t trust the demon’s answer. “If you’re not bound to a desire demon, then youarethe desire demon. Tell me the truth, Aevendaris. Did you bespell me?”
Evain flinches as if struck, then laughs, low and bitter. “I didn’t need to.”
The answer is painful enough that Leth thinks it’s true. He tears his gaze away. “If I see you again, I’ll kill you.”
Leth pulls Daziroth around to the west and kicks him into a trot, then a gallop. The pace is reckless through the snow-strewn forest, but the horse’s stride is far steadier than Leth. Wind whips past him, stinging his face, as he rides away from the town and the demon and the shattered remains of his heart.
?
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
EVAIN
By the time Evain breaks free, the sun is sinking and the shadows rising. His exerted magic has melted a wide circle of snow away. When he stumbles out of the array and falls to his knees, the stone jars painfully through his bones.
Leth’s red scarf lies limp a few feet away.
Evain spent his first hour in the array fantasizing about chasing Leth down. Entrapping him, forcing him to listen, forcing him to understand that Evain isdifferentfrom other demons. But he wouldn’t be different at all if he caught Leth that way. Escaping the array takes enough time for Evain’s reason to reluctantly take charge.
Besides, his magic is nearly spent, Leth has a horse and a head start, and Evain has a feeling that Leth wasn’t joking about killing him.
Frustration pushes Evain to his feet again. Blood boiling with unfamiliar helplessness, he glares up at the setting sun. “Hey! Radiant Fucking Vara! You can tell Karis this is all Ronan’s fault!”
The sun doesn’t answer.
Snarling, Evain claws at his hair and tries to concentrate. His disguises shudder back into place, each spell sluggish and slow. He can’t see his eyes darkening, but the sharp claws against his scalp blunt into ordinary human fingernails. Running his tongue over his teeth proves they aren’t as sharp either.
There. Now he looks like an ordinary human, with horribly fucked-up hair. He shakes out the mangled braid and ties it back in a simple tail, muttering as he works. “Take Leth to Lyrisenia, Ronan said. It’ll be fine, Ronan said.” Evain shakes his finger angrily at the sun. “Well, it’s not fucking fine, all right?”
The snowy woods swallow up his snarl, leaving not even an echo.
