Truthfully, he’s somewhat alarmed at the relief he felt in hearing Ava’s words.Specially selected,she’d said, because theyall fucking suckat relationships, apparently. And this place… wants tohelpwith that? Blake should be pissed. He should be annoyed and frustrated and in pain from his mounting (lack of mounting) blue balls, but when he tries to summon those feelings, all he can see behind his closed lids are Pax’s beautiful blue eyes.
He barely dares to hope, but he also can’t lie to himself, either.
Blake is relieved.
He stillwantsPax, of course he does. Hell, if Pax tried to bend him over right now, with everything at stake and all of their cast-mates watching, Blake would do it, no questions asked. Fuck rules, andAva,and the money. If there was any truth to his on-camera interview, it revolved around his feelings on that. Sure, claiming a piece of the prize pot would have been nice, and Blake will be returning home to a whole other set of issues if he doesn’t, but nothing that didn’t exist before he signed on for this shit-show.
Plus, they’re all still getting per diem payments just for being here, so either way, Blake won’t be leaving completely empty-handed.
And then there’sPax.
Logically, Blake knows it’s borderline insanity to think aboutPaxas something he could potentially “leave here with.”Logically,being the key word. Beyond the fact that Pax isn’t athingat all —andthat Blake’s just tonight done a total one-eighty on his entire romantic philosophy based on the advice of a glorified computer — they’ve only known each other for less than a day. What are the chances that whatever instant connection the two of them might have felt even survives the night, never mind the return to the real world?
All Blake knows for sure is that Pax wanted to sleep with him, and now that’s supposed to be off the table. In no way, shape, or form does he haveanyidea what comes next.
When the lights in the room dim, Blake’s still lost in his head. Tired and picking discordantly over the various emotions pulling him in opposite directions, he barely notices when the mattress next to him dips. Blake’s hands are tucked behind his head, eyes trained on the now-extinguished lights in the ceiling, so he starts a little when he looks over and sees Pax staring back.
Even in the near-dark, with shadows distorting the curves of his face, Pax is attractive. The sharp cut of his jaw, the smooth line of his neck, the brightness in his eyes when the light from the cracked bathroom door catches them — and Blakewants.His gaze is unwittingly drawn to the bruising just over Pax’s pulse point, marks left from his own mouth making Blake instantly flash back to the taste of Pax’s salty skin on his tongue. The way Pax’s toned body felt pressed against his, how he arched up against Blake, and —dammit.They should have moved faster. Atleastgotten each other’s clothes off before they were Ava-blocked.
Although,now —Blake tips his head in consideration. Pax is stripped down to his underwear, just like Blake. Except, Pax is wearing orange bikini-style briefs with a design that looks semi-obscene decorating the front. Blake squints and looks closer; it’s the ass-end of a bee, complete with giant stinger. He startles again when Paxton laughs, not realizing that he’d leaned in somewhat intrusively towards Paxton’s barely-clothed groin without so much as an invitation.
Though arguably, Pax showing up mostly-naked in his bed is exactly that.
“Careful,” Paxton rumbles quietly, like he’s afraid he’s going to disturb their softly-chatting bunkmates, but he’s clearly amused. “Any closer and you might cost us money.”
“Might be worth it,” Blake challenges, without really thinking about what he’s saying. He relaxes back into his pillow again and quirks an eyebrow that he hopes Paxton can see in the low light. He probably can, since Blake can easily discern the cluster of bees flying upward out of Paxton’s waistband and over his right flank, towards a ridiculously pretty grouping of purple-blue flowers on his lower ribs.
What a weirdo,Blake thinks affectionately.
“The front of the bee is on my ass,” Paxton says bluntly, and Blake just blinks back at him, confused. “The bee,” he repeats, gesturing to his underwear and then turning around and sticking his backside out in Blake’s direction. Sure enough, a smiling cartoon bee grins gleefully from the stretched cotton, and Blake’s never been so jealous of something that doesn’t actually exist before.
Apparently, those loose linen pants did a great job of hiding what Pax is packing, and Blake has to work not to drool over (or dive forward and sink his teeth into) those curves.
“So,” Paxton continues, as he sits back down and rests a hand casually on Blake’s blanket-covered thigh like he’s nottemptation personified. “Would you be at all opposed to me sharing your bed?”
“Uh—” Blake starts, glancing around to see if anyone is else is watching, but his fellow cast-mates all seem to be bunked down for the night, involved in their own conversations. Some of which are occurring underneath blankets, and Blake feels mightily suspicious about all that. How the hell will Ava even know if the rules are broken?! From where he’s sitting, there’s not a single person resting in their own bed, and in a group of self-confessed sex lovers, it’s hard to imagine no one’s urges will lead to something more.
Still, sure as hell looks like sleeping in the same bed is fully on the “green means go” activities menu here at the Retreat, so who is Blake to pass that up? He scoots over and shoots Paxton a sunny smile. “Guess not, since everybody else is doing it. And by that I mean, get the fuck in here, sunshine.”
Paxton slides under the covers and tugs at Blake’s hip until he rolls onto his side. That leaves them facing each other, heads on the same pillow. Beneath the sheets, their legs are tangled, but they’re not exactly cuddling. Pax’s hand slides over Blake’s bare skin; down his side, over his thigh, up his arm, and Blake has no clue whether he’s teasing or just touching. His breath stutters a little, eyes closing involuntarily as Paxton’s hand drifts over his cheek and down his neck — maybe Blake hasn’t paid enough attention to how starved he is for this kind of contact.
It’s true, he realizes, that physical affection outside of sex isn’t something he gets. And how often do one-night-standsand hookups bother to be gentle, or totouchbeyond the goal of getting off at all? Despite all his posturing, Blake’s always been the kind of guy whowantsto cuddle, but won’t ever ask for it. Now that it’s their only option, though, somehow, that feels safer.
“Weird night,” he says softly, into the space between his and Paxton’s faces, just to deflect from the tension and the rising emotions inside of his own head.
“Hmm,” Paxton replies, glancing up to Blake’s eyes and then back down at his own hand, tracing patterns over Blake’s chest. He has no idea how Blake’s heart is clenching inside of it at the very thought that Paxton might not even stick around, now that the rules have changed.
“What, they a dealbreaker for you? Listen man, I get it,” Blake preempts, trying to sound like he’s commiserating and not pouting. “You came here to party and hook up. No hard feelings if you’re just looking for a warm body tonight and wanna bail tomorrow. God knows I got no room to talk.”
The surprise on Paxton’s face isn’t something Blake was expecting, but it makes him hopeful. Pax keeps his eyes trained on where his fingers travel, but his voice is not nearly as steady as it has been. “I fear that I would be exposing myself in a very transparent way if I were to admit that I’m not disappointed that we are being discouraged from sharing sexual intimacy.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” Pax affirms with a nod and a small smile.
“I mean, I live to break the rules, Pax, you should know that about me.”
Paxton’s smile widens, and Blake warms. “I’m not opposed,” he says carefully, his tone curiously measured. “If that is all you want.”
