I shove my way through it, holding onto that voice, the one I know will always find me.
When I open my eyes, Ana’s leaning over me. I have a strong sense of déjà vu; this is the second time in the last day I’ve woken up to see her face filled with concern. It’s the second time she’s called me back to myself.
But of course she did. Even my sensic magic is no match for the strength of the mooring. I feel foolish for losing my head. I should’ve trusted she’d pull me back.
“Are you alright?” she asks.
I sit up, clutching her hand. “Yes,” I say. “I was just having a nightmare.”
She frowns at me. “But you don’t have nightmares. In fact, it’s usuallyyouwakingmeup from some horrible dream.”
I want to shield her, but I know telling her the truth is the better option, even if it’s painful. I’ll never again betray her trust with a lie. I send my answer across the mooring, not wanting to say it out loud.
“I think when I came back, something went wrong.”
Her eyes widen.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“I don’t know. But my magic isn’t obeying me anymore.”
I remember the way I was shunted through those dreams, trapped and unable to change them, like there’s some disconnect between myself and my power. I swallow, meeting Ana’s gaze.
“Maybe when I left this world, it severed something we couldn’t fix by bringing me back.” I inhale a deep breath. “Maybe my sensic magic doesn’t recognize me anymore.”
Morgana
“Will you stop looking at me like that?”Leon grumbles in my mind.
I widen my eyes innocently.“Like what?”I reply.
“Like I might collapse into a fit any moment,” he says aloud, playfully tossing a crisp white shirt in my direction. The palace servants brought us more court-appropriate clothes early this morning, but Leon ignored his in favor of his usual soldier’s gear.
I duck the shirt, using my magic to put it into orbit and send it flying back across the room.
“I think it’s perfectly reasonable for me to be a little worried after last night,” I say.
“I’m fine,” he says, huffing a laugh as he catches the shirt before it smacks him in the head. “It was probably just a one-off, and I got shaken up because I’m not used to my power misbehaving. I tested my terrial magic this morning, and it worked fine.”
I squint at him. He certainlyfeelsin better spirits than last night.
“Besides,” he puts his hands on his hips, looking at me accusingly. “I’mnot the one who gave up a piece of their soul.Ishould be asking howyou’refeeling.”
I shrug, though I know he can sense the flare of uncertainty his question provokes.
“I feel fine,”I say through the mooring.“Just…different. I can’t say how exactly.”
It’s the truth, but I deliberately avoid going into more detail—in no small part because I don’t have more details to share. I was warned enough times about what I was getting into, so I’ve been alert to any changes, but that doesn’t mean I can easily put my finger on them. It’s only that sometimes, when I think about it, I’m sure I can sense the hole inside me—a dark void. It’s not painful or scary, it’s just…nothing. That’s why it’s hard to put into words.
There’s a knock at the door, and Leon lets Tira and Fairon in.
“Come to check we’re still all in one piece?” I say, then internally wince at my own wording.
“We’d be stupid not to after what you two have been through,” Tira points out, immediately parking herself on the bed.
Fairon stands by the door, straight-backed and regal as usual.
“We thought it would be wise, given the circumstances,” he agrees.
