It had been so much better than fine and so much worse, all at the same time.
Let’s talk about you, Nat. You dating your hotshot lawyer yet?
NAT: Yeah, actually. That’s why Juniper took over the case before we went to trial.
I knew that. And NatalieknewI knew that, but I’d been desperate for a subject change, and she was being nice enough to allow it.
I glanced over at Theo, who’d been completely ignoring the group chat, his phone buzzing on the bar top beside his bourbon. His eyes were on the TV screen mounted on the wall in front of us, even though the game hadn’t started yet.
“You are absolutely no help,” I muttered.
“What?” he asked without looking away.
“Our siblings are being assholes.”
“Even Natalie?” He lifted a disbelieving brow, raising his beer to his lips.
“Well, she did bring Ellie to Noah’s house.”
“It’s been, like, a month, Sully. You cannot stay mad about that forever.”
“Fucking watch me,” I said beneath my breath.
Truth was, I couldn’t be mad about it. Because even though the last several weeks had been a nightmare, I wouldn’t give up the night I’d spent with Ellie for anything. I couldn’t think of a single thing that would make me regret having her like that one more time. Being inside her, being so goddamn close to her, waseverything I remembered and more, even if it had been different, too.
And sure, it made it that much harder to get over her, set me back a few—or a million—steps, but who was I kidding? I was probably never going to get over her. If I hadn’t managed it in the last five years, it simply wasn’t going to happen. I’d miss her, love her, ache for her until the day I died.
So, there was no real point in denying myself having her, even if it had only been for one night. Even if it distracted me in development meetings to the point that I’d embarrassed myself for losing track of the conversation. Even if my showers suddenly lasted twice as long because I’d end up with my hand around my dick, memories of her body spurring desperate tugs. Even if I got so lost in my head most days that I forgot to eat until my stomach started screaming at me. Or until Theo suggested we grab a bite at the North Star.
Like tonight.
So far, I’d only been able to stomach alcohol, though. I liked to pretend it dulled the ache in my chest.
It didn’t.
“You still haven’t told me what happened that night.”
Theo’s voice was so low, I almost didn’t catch his fishing comment.
I raised a brow. “Neither have you.”
The reason I’d gone back to the hotel alone after Noah’s party was because I hadn’t been able to find Theo, and when I’d texted him asking where he was, he told me to head out without him.
It was odd, but I hadn’t pressed him for the details, mostly because I was hoping for a return favor. I didn’t need him asking why he’d run into me in the elevator the next morning, wearing the same clothes I’d had on at the party.
“That rough of a night, huh?” he’d muttered, raising a brow.
I’d just shaken my head. For some reason, I had liked the idea that he thought I’d been out all night brooding, or maybe even fighting with Ellie, compared to the truth—that Ihadn’t even lasted a couple of minutes in the same space as her before I’d thrown her over my shoulder and found the first available bed to fuck her in.
Goddamnit.
“Touche´.”
Theo dipped his head in acknowledgment, and we clinked glasses.
Cheers to secrets, I suppose.
“Hey, guys, what’d I miss?”
