Not this time.
And not ever again.
thirteen years ago
ELLIE
The stars twinkled overhead as I sprawled in the bed of a pickup truck with Sullivan London. It was nicer than the rusty red one we’d taken to the lake a few times this summer, which was good since I was less concerned about when I’d last gotten a tetanus shot.
Natalie and Theo sat on the hood of the truck with Mr. London, listening to him explain the stars. His deep voice carried through the night air, but not enough to make out his words.
“We can go up there if you want to hear the story,” Sully offered. I heard the rustle of blankets and glanced over to find him looking at me.
His eyes were so very vibrant, cutting through the darkness. That seemed about right, though. Sully was light. Pure joy and light and everything good in this world, it seemed.
“Not if you don’t want to,” I said.
I had a feeling he didn’t, but I knew if I went up there, he’d follow.
He shrugged, eyes refocusing on the sky. On the stars—the reason we’d thrown blankets and pillows in the truck and driven out into this field.
“I just get bored with them sometimes,” he said. “My dad talks soslow, oh my God. I just wish I could press the fast-forward button on him or something.”
I laughed. It was breathy and uneven, probably because I was sovery aware of his proximity. How our arms brushed ever so slightly. Sully was warm, and the air had a chill to it. A hint of fall on the horizon. “He’s nice, though. Your dad.”
I’d thought it was sweet that he packed a soda-filled cooler—but caffeine-free so Sully’s mom wouldn’t yell at him—and tossed two large bags of popcorn in the truck. Sully and I had already munched our way through one of them.
“He is,” Sully agreed. “He works nights, so we don’t see him that often, and I always piss him off because I’m too loud when he’s trying to sleep during the day, but…” He shrugged again. “He’s a good dad, I think.”
He seemed like a great dad to me, but I didn’t say anything. I would do just about anything to have a dad who took me stargazing.
I’d do just about anything to have a dad at all.
“Does he take you out here a lot?”
“A couple times every summer since…well, before I can really remember.”
I glanced over at him, my lips spreading. My heart beat a little faster when he turned to look back at me, too. “Thanks for letting me come.”
“Thanks for coming.” His eyes lit up, somehow even brighter. “Are you excited about school next week?”
I grimaced, my stomach churning at the reminder. “I don’t think ‘excited’ is the word.”
“I promise it’ll be great,” he said, and I couldn’t help but believe him. Feel a sprinkle of hope. “If you need anything, you just have to turn a corner, and I’m sure you’ll find a London. Noah, Theo, and Natalie will all be there.”
I nodded. Paused before saying, “But not you.”
His lips pinched together. “Not me.”
“Next year?”
“Next year.”
Looking back up at the sky, I found myself searching for a star and wishing on it. Praying that everything worked out with my mom’s newjob so we stayed here long enough for Sully and me to go to the same school together.
“I do think I’m going to like it here,” I whispered, and then sent another wish up to the stars that those words came true. That I’d like it. That this summer hadn’t been an illusion. “In Rosewood.”
“I like it,” he answered, as though that was all I needed to know. That if he liked it, then that would mean I would, too.
