He looked down and rolled his eyes, kicking his shoes off. Which did, actually, just make even more of a mess.
“Sounds about right,” Natalie muttered, reminding me that she was still on the line. Hopefully, she hadn’t overheard my very loud thoughts while thirsting over her brother.
I cleared my throat. “Do you want to talk to your sister?”
“Natalie’s on the phone?”
Already, he was crossing the room toward me, and I couldfeelthe heat radiating off him, like he’d brought the sun inside with him.
“I’m handing you off to your brother, Nat,” I said. “But I love you. Let’s talk more soon.”
I needed more updates on how life was going after the trial and how things with Cameron were smoothing out. But that could wait until later. There were more important things right now—like giving Sully the chance to talk to Natalie, too.
“Love you!” she called back before I held out the phone for Sully to take.
He was far too close. Too sweaty, too big, too beautiful. And he was all man.All mi?—
“Hey, Nat,” he said, and then gave me a funny little look.
Probably because I was staring at him.
Shit.
I found myself holding my breath until he moved away with the phone, afraid of the things I might say or do when he was so close and so perfect. After waiting until he was in the other room, I pushed off the couch and wandered outside, letting the humid air blast me, needing to feel heat that wasn’t just Sully. Trailing my fingers along the porch railing, I followed it to the backyard.
Whenever I lingered in the front, I worried I might run into my mom. I doubted she could look out the window and see us—there were towers of boxes in front of them, which didn’t surprise me. But I didn’t know what I’d do if I saw her in passing. Wasn’t sure I was ready to face her yet. Wasn’t sure I’d know what to say. I should reach out; I’d said that thing last week about coming over for dinner. But I could tell she hadn’t been enthusiastic about it, so for now, I’d just keep putting it off.
I stared at the large, looming trees for a moment, the way their branches swayed in the summer breeze. A small swing hung from the thickest one, rocking gently. The trill of wind chimes tickled my senses, making me shiver. The thickness of the air made me wonder if it was going to cloud up and rain.
I wouldn’t mind a summer storm.
It might be a good reminder that periods of darkness blow in as quickly as they blow out.
I wouldn’t mind that.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
sully
IT WAS ODD, THE concept that life moved on and so did time. Especially since here, in this house on Maple Street, everything had always seemed to stand still.
But now, instead of being bombarded with childhood memories every time I looked around the corner, I seemed stuck in the moment when I’d walked into my bedroom, saw Ellie’s distraught, stricken expression, and knew something was very, very wrong.
I told my manager I needed to work remotely this week, which allowed me to stay in Rosewood. It wasn’t an issue; we always had that option, but generally, I struggled to stay on task whenever I tried working from home and, therefore, didn’t do it often. But right now, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere but here with Ellie.
I spent the week walking a fine line between giving her space and pulling her in so she didn’t drift too far away, especially whenever I caught her with that detached, despondent look in her eyes. I didn’t want her to get too lost in that head of hers, especially when she buried herself in coding work and projects, as though she could use it to push everything else down.
But ever since calling Natalie on Wednesday—the day afterthe doctor’s appointment—she’d seemed lighter. Theo came by with more soup the next night, and the three of us sat at the kitchen table to eat. I counted the number of times a smile tugged onto Ellie’s lips, and it was more than the previous day. Afterward, Theo went home, and we walked to the lake to get out of the house. Dipped our toes in. Contemplated how contaminated the water was from summer boaters. I quotedTarzan. She laughed.
At night, I read to her. She rested on the couch, and usually, I sat on the floor, just so I could be closer to her pretty face. My eyes liked to wander to her between sentences. Sometimes we’d read upstairs, too, and I’d sit next to her in bed or read from across the hall.
I’d always sleep there, though—in Natalie’s room. Keeping that little bit of distance between us was likely the hardest thing I’d ever done, but she hadn’t asked me to stay yet.
More importantly, she hadn’t asked me to leave. Not entirely. So I was holding on to this balance for as long as I could. And every day, I saw a little more hope.
On Friday, I heard Ellie leave the house while I was on a work call and frowned. I thought about running after her, but decided to text instead.
Everything okay?
