“No more of that, El.”
“But—”
“Not right now.” He shook his head. “Not when I just need you to know how incredible I think you are. And how sorry I am that I put you in this position where you’ve had to be so strong.”
“I’m not,” I cried, because I feltanythingbut that as he rocked me in his arms. I’d never felt more fragile, more breakable.
But Sully insisted.
“You are,” he rasped, breath catching again. “So smart and beautiful and strong. And there are so many things I should have done to make sure you knew that I would have stood by you through anything, any decision your brilliant brain came to. Because, El, even though you are so fucking strong, I don’t want you to have to be. And God, I’m so sorry we never got to a point to talk about that before. But we’re going to. Maybe not now, not today or tomorrow. But eventually. Right now, I’m just gonna take care of you, okay?”
His voice cracked, and his hold on me tightened to a degree that should probably be painful but instead felt like everything I’d ever needed. His palm came to cup the side of my face, pressing me into his chest.
“I’m going to take care of you, and I’m going to keep you for as long as I can. You came back, and I’m not going to take that for granted, no matter what happens next.”
How he knew that those words were the ones I’d needed to hear more than anything, I had no idea. I’d likely never know. But it was probably just because he was Sullivan, and he was once mine, and he still knew me—knew me better than anyone.
And I—God, I loved him. I’d always loved him. I always would. And just knowing that he wanted to hold on just as tightly as I did opened a chasm of relief in my chest.
I forced myself to look at him, untucking my head to stare up at his glassy gaze and the tears streaking down his face—the desperation there. And I knew that I’d never be able to let go of him.
“Maybe we can take care of each other,” I said, a watery plea.
“I’d like that.” His eyes sparkled as he pushed the hair out of my face, picking at strands that were stuck in the wet tracks on my cheeks. “I’d like that a lot.”
“Me, too,” I whispered.
We lapsed into silence, just staring at each other. Eyes roaming faces that were so familiar but also so different. Because we’d never been here before, in the place we were now. Eventhough we were sitting in the same spot, between our two houses, that we had been for years.
“Hey, Sawyer?” I breathed, finally.
“Yeah?”
“Can I sleep now?”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “Of course. Let’s get you to bed.”
Unable to help myself, I brushed at his tears with my thumbs, hating to see them on his face. “Do you think that first…”
“Yeah?” he asked at my hesitation.
“Do you think I could still take you up on that bedtime story?”
A choked laugh escaped his lips.
“God, I thought you’d never ask.”
It was the first time I’d smiled in hours.
“Just a few chapters before you go,” I said.
His brows drew together as he gave me a sharp look.
“Oh, baby. You think I’m leaving?”
“I—” I floundered. Mostly because he kept calling me baby, and talking to me like he used to, touching me more like he used to, and I was so overwhelmed with everything that had happened in the last two days.
“Nah, El.” He was cupping both sides of my face with his giant palms now. “Theo went and packed me a bag earlier because I’m not fucking going anywhere. At least not until your next appointment, but preferably longer. Okay?”
