El Soldado waited.
“The other thing is that he seems—I don’t know. He’s like an actual person.” I said it to the counter. “Which is inconvenient. It would be a lot easier if he were just abs and a lip piercing. But he was…kind of funny. And when our hands touched?—”
I stopped again.
“Anyway.”
The seagull made a low sound.
“Don’t.” I pointed at him. “Don’t do that. I’m not a monster, I’m just—I’m desperate. She always does this and I’m done being—” My voice cracked on the last word, and I cleared my throat.
“Besides, I promised Elliot we would keep the nests safe, and we need to do the fundraiser. It’s not about anything besides that. And if I have to use some charming idiot to do it, then that’s what I’ll do. That’s just what this is. He’ll get what he wants out of it. It’s a win-win.”
I didn’t entirely believe that.
I could tell by how much I needed to say it aloud. I groaned, the sound muffled by the counter.
“Maybe I should just stick to my trusty vibrator. At least it’s never let me down.”
El Soldado made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort.
I lifted my head, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Don’t judge me. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And right now, this girl has gotta figure out how to take down a corporate-backed surf competition with nothing but some weak magic and a half-baked plan to bang a stranger.”
I pushed off the counter, pacing the small confines of the snack shack.
“I mean, really, what’s the worst that could happen? So the sex is bad? So my magic stays pathetically small. It’s not like I’m risking anything I don’t already not have, right?”
El Soldado ruffled his feathers, his version of a shrug.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
I stopped pacing.
Was this really what I was going to do?
I had to do something; I couldn’t just stay anymore. I marched over to the window, staring out at the ocean.
That was Marina Torres’ ocean.
But before that, it was the beach.
My beach.
Warmth buzzed in my fingers, and I watched the wind pick up, sand swirling into small vortexes.
“Give me a sign,” I whispered. “Give me a sign that I’m on the right path, that this is right thing to do.”
For a long moment, there was nothing.
That moment kept stretching and stretching.
Nothing.
Always nothing.
I kicked the counter, and El Soldado flapped away, leaving me entirely alone.
