“Jump.”
The knot that had knitted in my stomach grew, twisting and turning until I could taste the dried meat I’d managed to gobble down this morning.
Pulling in a deep breath, I closed my eyes.
It was only water. Our people loved the water.
But we also respect it.
Ignoring the small voice, I tried to bring my mind to our village. We had cliffs where everyone cleaned their clothing and where we would jump off in the summer. I remembered the happy squeals and splashing as we played growing up, and a gentle humming rose around me. My shoulders lowered at the calm notes, at the smells of home—of burning fires and food and fresh wood—and I tuned out all other sounds, focusing only on the rippling water, both intimately familiar and strangely new.
“Elvara.”
I only shook my head at Viljan.
I wanted to drown in the memory—to stay where Lika stilllaughed and my father’s word was still law. Back when the cliffs were just a playground and the sea wasn’t a grave waiting for my blood.
Water roared in my ears. If I took another step, I’d only find air.
“Open your eyes,” I whispered, feeling as if it was another who ordered me to do so.
The night was still there, the stars winking at me and the lake still far below, but it somehow wasn’t as intimidating anymore.
I felt it with every bone within me. I was doing what I should be doing.
Rakkel had backed up, her mouth moving swiftly as she whispered something low enough for only her guard to hear. I almost called out to her, but I was too afraid to break whatever calm now made my limbs warm, so instead I turned my head over my shoulder and gave Viljan a nod.
His eyes widened for a second before I spun forward again. Then I jumped.
Cheers followed me as I fell through the night, but I clung to that song—the one that had me stretch my arms out as droplets from the waterfall landed on my skin and the splash of the cascade hitting the mirror-like water grew louder. Salt stung my nose even before I broke the surface, and I took a final deep breath as my fingers cleaved the darkness.
It became entirely quiet.
The force of my jump had sent me deep beneath the world. The pressure I’d felt ever since hearing of my brother’s and father’s disappearance lightened for a moment, and I opened my eyes to complete darkness.
Somehow it wasn’t a terrifying one. It was calm. Gentle. Protective.
I understood now why Ottoh had remained under for so long.
Holding my breath for as long as I could, I reveled in thesimplicity. Down here there were no heirs. There were no trials. No warriors who hated me. No karls to bond.
There was nothing.Iwas nothing other than a body drifting smoothly through the water’s depths like the wood we’d set free whenever our ships became too old. The anchor of my worries lifted, leaving me to drift in beautiful, lawless waves.
Too soon my lungs screamed for air, and I turned to where a glimmer of light flickered above. Kicking my feet, I started to make my way toward it.
I waited for the pressure in my ears to release as I fought the current, but when several seconds passed and nothing happened, I began using my arms as well.
This lake wasn’t really a lake at all but an inlet from the ocean—it was how the king traveled in and out of Nordoen—so it was bound to have some currents refreshing the water, although they should have been mild in summer. But even using my arms and kicking until black spots flickered before my eyes, I didn’t move. The dim light above didn’t become sharper.
My eyes widened until the brackish water stung them.
I not only wasn’t getting closer but was being pulled farther down.
Thicker darkness pressed around me, and for the first time since I jumped, panic clawed at my throat. For some reason the current was stronger than at home, and I’d allowed myself to drift too deep.
Cursing, I tried to angle myself to swim sideways instead—to find the rocky side of the island—but I couldn’t see anything except the very faint glimmer of light far, far above as the water pressed harder around me, more forceful now.
My body twitched. Soon I would be only moments from pulling in water into my lungs.
