“W-will you do… bad things to us, too, if we are?” Ottoh’s voice came somewhere to our right, followed by his sister’s choked “That’s not funny!”
Warmth spread in my chest.
“No, but my heir might. She is far too fucking happy you’re alive.”
Darcke was joking, but there was a trace of jealousy in there that made me smile in the darkness.
“Felt that too,” Darcke rasped.
Ignoring him, I asked. “Are you able to get out?”
I felt for the wall behind me and started walking around the cramped space, trying to figure out our bearings. The stone had covered both exits, but a freezing breeze whistled softly as it fought to blow through the cracks in the rubble.
“I don’t think so.” Ottoh sounded even more breathless. “There… there is a stone on my back.”
“And your stupid ass is on top of me,” Vero added, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“We’re going to have to dig them out,” I said to Darcke, my pulse pounding. “It doesn’t seem like there’s much stone between us and the outside, but we need to be careful so we don’t make it worse.”
“Sh-shouldn’t take you long, right?” Ottoh said. “I think we’re running out of air.”
“Good thing we’re with a Sweengard,” Vero whispered hoarsely. “I-I knew?—”
“Save your breaths,” Ottoh ordered. “But seriously, if… you can hurry, Elvara, please do.”
My rib cage felt like it might splinter under the fierce beatings of my heart.
“Over here.” Darcke found my jacket and tugged me backward. “They’re beneath this.”
He guided my hands over a pile of boulders that were stacked higher than I could reach, each one heavier than I would be able to lift myself. If I’d had my magic, it wouldn’t have been a problem, but now…
I closed my eyes to an even more suffocating darkness. What was I supposed to do?
Lika’s face flashed before my eyes.Leave them.
That’s what my brother would have done. This was when his ruthlessness—his training—would have kicked in. I wasn’t here to make friends. I wasn’t here to save anyone else.
“Elvara,” Darcke said. “This would be a great time to use that rune of yours.”
Time slowed as my second lifted a hand and trailed it up my arm until he reached the rune that was supposed to flicker with life on my chest. As Darcke tapped it, my heart hammered furiously, hopelessness and fear and guilt tangling within me.
“Any… any day now,” Vero called weakly, and I wondered if this wasn’t Hel after all.
I didn’t want to leave them. I didn’t want to have to make this choice.
A thickness crawled up from my chest, clogging my throat.
“Elvara,” Darcke said again.
My limbs became heavy, but it was the crushing weight on my mind that made me shut my eyes. I didn’t want to disappoint more people. I didn’t want to disappointhim.
“Elvara!”
“I can’t!” I hissed under my breath, the words bursting from my lips before I could stop them. But I didn’t want to take them back. “I can’t, all right?”
“You can’twhat?” Darcke asked, his fingers still tapping a steady rhythm that made the dried fish I’d eaten before leaving the ship start to make its way up again.
“I can’t use my magic.” My voice wasn’t my own anymore. It was empty, cold, distant, and I tried to swallow it. I did. But I couldn’t anymore. I was done.
