I nodded.Because of everything.
“Who is hot and cold now?” Darcke asked.
The air around us crackled with unspoken tension when his eyes burned into mine, and the charge that raced through me caught him as well, because his hand twitched toward me before he could stop it.
“I won’t apologize for not asking,” I said.
“I wasn’t expecting you to.” His other hand pressed against the wood beside my head, his arms blocking me from view. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t wish it was different.”
Again we were having a different conversation from the words we actually spoke.
But as I searched his tired face, traced the dark circles beneath his eyes, I knew it was one we needed to have. Whatever had happened on my ship that day couldn’t happen again. Ilse had caught on, and that meant others could too.
“Maybe in another life,” I said.
It came out sadder than I’d planned, and Darcke’s face hardened again when whatever heat was left between us died, falling into the sea and hiding in its depths where it should extinguish forever.
“We’ll see about that,” he said.
I wasn’t sure if it was a threat or a promise.
“So.” I cleared my throat. “The heir and the ship.”
Darcke’s hand fell to his sides, and I could have sworn fall had come early, bringing its icy mountain winds and the first taste of snow with it.
“I only asked for Ottoh because we know from the last trial that we can trust him,” Darcke said, his voice void of any emotion. “And my ship is larger, with several bedrooms, so we don’t have to live so cramped.”
I’d been prepared to fight, so when his arguments made sense, my mouth opened and then closed again.
“We good, heir?” Darcke asked as he turned to head onto the ship.
No. No, we aren’t good at all.
But that’s how it had to be. My loyalty belonged to my people, not to a six-foot-five Viking warrior who smelled like the adventures I’d dreamed of growing up, and who made me want to scream and crawl into his bed in the same breath.
My father’s voice echoed in my head as I watched Darcke disappear up the brow.
We protect our people against everyone. Even against family. Even against ourselves.
Turns out, my thoughts of fall hadn’t been too far fetched.
A freezing wind whipped through my clothes as I squinted into the night, and my fingers had long since lost their feeling as I leaned over the railing and watched the frothing sea crash around the port.
“You’ve been out here all day.” Ottoh came up beside me, a thick fur coat wrapped around his shoulders.
After giving him a quick smile, I turned to the dark horizon again. “Someone needs to make sure we don’t fall behind the other ship. What if there aren’t enough weapons for all of us?”
Ottoh cursed. “I hadn’t even thought of that.”
I sent my elbow into his side. “I’m joking.”
Mostly. Now that I was thinking about it, it seemed like a plausible inconvenience.
“I doubt Darcke’s ship would allow them to arrive before us anyway.” Ottoh traced a finger over the onyx wood. “Bog oak. I think it’s the only ship in Gustief’s fleet made from it. Never thought I’d be on it.”
“Neither did I,” I replied. “Only a few days ago I would have rather seen you float away on the southern stream than stand here beside you.”
He laughed. “I wasn’t that bad. It was an initiation.”
