She blanked her expression. “No.”
“Because I have thought about that.”
Her eyes shifted to his.
“Every reason for our marriage dissolved that morning, and yet I wanted you to stay.”
“Yes, I remember,” she said, pulling out of his hands and putting much needed space between them, glad to have the reminder of that morning so she could focus on her anger. “You wanted us to have a chance to get over this infatuation.”
His features tightened and a muscle jerked in his jaw. “I was wrong.”
She stood where she was, but crossed her arms over her chest protectively. She had been hurt so badly, she couldn’t cope with any more. Even when a part of her wanted to cling to his statement and let it breathe hope into her, a protective mechanism refused to allow that. There was no hope here, only pain.
“This is not infatuation.”
Hope shifted regardless, just a small flicker, deep down inside of her.
“This is—you are—the very essence of who I am. You are, all of a sudden, and without me understanding when it happened, my life force. I have realised, these last two months, that I am nothing without you.Niente.Just a shell of a person, going through the motions, with no true purpose or joy. You are not just my wife, Allegra, you are my life. My whole life.”
She could only stare at him. His words were so perfect, so utterly perfect, that she was sure this was one of her dreams, conjured in the depths of the night to torment her with what would never be possible.
“I came here today to plead with you to forget about the divorce a while. I simply came to ask you to give me a second chance. To go on a date with me, so we could sit across a candlelit table from one another and talk. That’s it. No grand plans.” She now realised that the emotion she kept glimpsingin his face and struggling to interpret wasanguish.He was tormented by what he was saying; by the fear that she would reject him. Her lips parted in surprise. Luca was afraid?
“But then I saw you, and the idea of just dating you, my wife, my beloved, beautiful wife, felt so insufficient I could have cried.”
She gasped.
“Yet if that is what you are more comfortable with, if you would prefer to start with something small, then we will, we can. All I ask is that you forget the divorce, for a while.”
Hope was no longer just a flicker, but a flame, a big, golden flame inside of her, but she stayed very still. Having been burned more than once, she had finally learned to do her due diligence, to ask every possible question.
“What changed your mind?”
“Nothing. I just realised my mind. I have wanted you in my life since that first night we met.”
She blinked quickly.
“I am the one who suggested marriage. Yes, to satisfy my grandfather’s requirement, but think, Allegra. Why you? Why then? I have dated many women, there are any number of women I could have married for the sake of the company. It was you I wanted. You I knew I needed, and would always need, in my life.”
“But you told me?—,”
“I was a fool. Allegra. I couldn’t admit to myself what you meant to me. I thought that loving you like this made me weak, because I might lose you, and I know that pain, so well. But your love has made me strong. It’s made me do things I never thought possible. And eventually I came to understand that it is better to put everything on the line and have you turn your back than it is to never ask the question. To lose you out of fear and stupidity.”
His voice was raw, the pain so obvious she wanted then to throw all caution to the wind and pull him to her.
“I am begging you to reconsider this.”
Another plea, and this one landed like an arrow in her heart. She sobbed softly, bit into her lip to try to stop it. “I just want to be clear,” she said, lifting a hand and pulling her hair over one shoulder, to play with the golden ends. “This isn’t about sex. This isn’t about infatuation. This isn’t something you’re putting a time limit on?”
He closed his eyes, his chest shifting as he sucked in a deep breath. “Cristo,I’ve been such an ass. That you could even ask that shows how badly I have failed.”
Her throat felt tight.
“I love you,” he said. “Ti amo, with my whole heart. The only time limit I want either of us to put on our marriage is forever. As long as we both shall live, like we drunkenly promised.”
Her laugh was wet with unshed tears.
“I want you to come home with me, so we can start the rest of our lives, so I can show you how utterly and completely you are the best of me. The best bits of me. I am nothing without you, my darling, beautiful wife.”
