To anyone who saw them, they would appear as the happiest of couples, basking in the morning sun as they did in one another’s love, nothing to worry about but how they would spend the day.
And it is all a lie. As it has always been, I suppose. Only now it feels different. Worse, somehow. As if it is not just the ton being lied to, but me. And that Sebastian knows it.
As promised, Helena and Sebastian went on a promenade together, their choice of venue being Hyde Park. It was a popular spot among the peerage, and on a day like this, it was no wonder that there were so many lords and ladies about.
Had this happened a few weeks ago, Helena might have felt great relief to see how busy it was. After all, was this not the entire point? To be seen and admired by all, witnessed and confirmed that their marriage was very much real.
They walked the path that snaked lazily through the garden, they waved and smiled to various couples and families they passed by, they laughed, greeted, and spoke to many. And, most of all, they stayed close, as if to be apart was to see the world come to an end.
Helena found that she was having a hard time pretending as she once had. What was more, it appeared that Sebastian was back to his old ways.
Not so long ago, they had found a middle ground that allowed them to act normally, figuring this was the best way to show how companionable they were. But now, Sebastian was over-the-top and larger-than-life in his quest to prove how in love they were. As false as ever, and it made Helena feel sick.
“Your Grace!” a voice called from down the path.
“Ah, Lord Westshire!” Sebastian waved merrily at the approaching lord and his wife. They, too, walked arm in arm, appearing just as happy as she and Sebastian were. “Wonderful to see you.”
“As it is to see you,” Lord Westshire said as he reached them. “And Your Grace…” He offered a deep bow to Helena. “Looking as radiant as ever.”
“Thank you,” she said simply.
“Careful now, Lord Westshire.” Sebastian let go of her hand and slipped an arm around her waist. “Keep saying kind words like that, and I will have to work extra hard to keep my dear wife by my side.”
“Hopefully not too hard!”
“To be honest, I relish the chance.” Sebastian’s eyes shone as he looked at Helena. “Any chance I have to remind my wife of her beauty is one I welcome.”
Helena resisted the urge to curl her lips in disgust.
Why is he trying so hard? Surely, we are past this? Should it not be enough to be honest and… Wait, no. Silly me. Honesty is not something Sebastian is capable of.
They spoke with Lord Westshire and his wife for a few moments, then left them and continued on their walk. It was all smiles and cheer. All compliments and words of adoration. All adoring glances and constant touch, from which she could not escape.
It broke Helena’s heart, just as it made her sick with revulsion.
She knew that it would have been wise not to show her revulsion. That she needed to keep up the façade so Sebastian would not wonder why she was acting so distant. Alas, she simply could not do it to herself.
In public, she would not spurn him, not for him, and not for her own reputation. But for the children, as they were innocent, and it was not their fault that Sebastian was a liar and a snake and the worst of men.
But in private, she would do as she should have kept doing from the second they married. She would stop trying to please him. She would stop pretending that this marriage was anything other than one of convenience. And most of all, she would stop caring.
So it was that when they arrived home later that day, she did not wait for him once she climbed out of the carriage and started toward the manor.
“Helena!” he called after her as he exited the carriage. “Where are you off to?”
She turned, and her expression was as cold as the harshest of winters. “Nowhere that you need to concern yourself with.”
He frowned, seemingly perplexed by her response. “Is something the matter? You have been acting strangely all day.”
“Not at all,” she said, still with that same dispassionate glare. “I am just tired, that’s all. Needing some time to myself.”
“As you say.” He smiled warmly, as if nothing was amiss. “And I will be seeing you later?”
“Likely you will be.” She forced a smile, one that was not warm or loving. And then she turned and strode to the manor.
Sebastian did not go after her, nor did he check on her later that day. He left her alone as she asked, and that was when Helena knew beyond a doubt that she was right about him.
While she was forcing herself on him, he remained loving, kind, and gentle. But once she stopped trying, he would receive the message and happily avoid her as he clearly wished to do.
