His meaning was clear. If Sebastian told Helena about the threat, she might very well choose to stop writing just to save the children.
She was kind like that. Generous. A gentle soul who only wanted the best for children that she had no reason to feel so responsible for. And the fact that she was in this situation now was all Sebastian’s fault.
“I think we are done here.” Mr. Ramsay exhaled and then shuffled to the door. He popped it open and turned back, flashing a satisfied smile as he did. “I expect to hear from you shortly, Your Grace. And please, I pray that you see reason and acquiesce to my demands. I would hate to do something that might ruin you.”
He laughed gaily and climbed out of the carriage.
And Sebastian, previously feeling on top of the world, such that he thought he could fly should he be so inclined, spiraled into a dark depression from which he could see no escape.
He was trapped, with no way out. And whatever he ended up doing, someone he cared for was going to be hurt.
This was why he had never wanted to marry in the first place.
Too late now.
CHAPTER 28
“Are you certain you wish to do this?” Giles asked.
“Of course, I am not sure,” Sebastian snapped. He glared at his closest friend, only to soften and then crumble because it was not Giles whom he was angry with, but himself. “What other choice do I have?”
“Tell her,” Giles suggested, as he had done so many times already. “Tell her the truth. Let her decide?—”
“I cannot do that,” Sebastian interrupted. “You know why.”
“I know that you think you are doing the right thing,” Giles countered. “And in a way, I understand your logic. But have you stopped to consider what your wife might think? What she would want?”
“I know what she would want,” Sebastian sighed. “Which is why I must make the choice for her. She will not thank me for it, but it is the only way.”
“And once it is done? What then?”
Sebastian looked at his friend, not concerned about how pitiful and broken he must have appeared. Not caring how weak and pathetic he was coming across. If anything, he wanted Giles to see it. At least there would be one person in this world who did not think Sebastian to be the most wretched soul who had ever lived.
“I suspect that things will return to how they once were. How they were always supposed to be.” He slumped, letting his body sink into the couch as if it might swallow him. “We tried our best, we gave it everything. But some things just aren’t meant to be.”
“But—”
“No, Giles.” He hardened his gaze. “This is how it must be. Now, are you going to help me or not?”
Giles did not look at all pleased with what he was being asked to do. And were it not so important to Sebastian, he might have said no. But Sebastian had made his case; he explained why this was the only way, and he knew his friend would do as he asked.
I just pray that Helena can forgive me. No, that will not happen. Perhaps the most I can pray for is that she does not hate me as I deserve.
He had spent the evening considering Mr. Ramsay’s threat. There was no victory to be sought here, merely a loss that was acceptable and hurt the least number of people. One that would allow him to live with himself.
The problem, as he saw it, was that Mr. Ramsay knew too much and was willing to drive the knife in any way he needed to get what he wanted. And not the manuscript as he claimed, as that was just a means to mock Sebastian to his face.
No. Mr. Ramsay only cared about hurting Sebastian, and regardless of what happened next, he had achieved this like nothing else could.
If Sebastian did as he was told, handing him the manuscript, he would also need to command Helena to stop writing once and for all. She would never do that, and then Mr. Ramsay would expose the orphanage and threaten the children’s safety. And that wasn’t to mention his exposure of Helena and the threat to her reputation.
If Sebastian ignored Mr. Ramsay entirely, he would do the same. Helena’s name would be ruined, the orphanage would find itself in Mr. Ramsay’s crosshairs, and all Sebastian had been working toward would be for naught.
That left him one option. Not one he wanted. Not one he looked forward to. But perhaps the only way to save Helena from Mr. Ramsay’s wrath.
“Fetch Her Grace, will you?” Sebastian ordered the butler who stood by the door to the drawing room, as he had been asked to do since Giles arrived. “Tell her Lord Ashford is here and wishes to pay her his respects.”
“Your Grace.” The butler bowed deeply and scurried out of the room.
