“But not the last time.”
“Obviously not,” she laughed. “If anything, being caught made me want to try again. I felt I had to prove that I was capable.”
He rolled his eyes. “And why does that not surprise me?”
“Honestly, if my parents knew half of the things I got up to…” She flashed her eyes.
“It’s no wonder they were so strict with you,” he chuckled. “Although I can’t help but wonder what might have been the result if they had just let you be.”
“What do you mean?”
“Did it ever occur to you that the reason you have always been so desperate to seek freedom is that you felt trapped? You’re like a caged bird, butting your head against that same cage. Not because you want to escape, but because you think you should.”
“No…” She frowned at the comment, having never thought of it like that. “That’s not—even if they were less strict, I would still prize my freedom.”
“And what of the bird that never had a cage?” he countered. “The same one that lives its entire life in the same nest, on the same tree, not bothering to fly away because it knows that it can whenever it wishes.”
“Stop comparing me to a bird!”
“I am just asking,” he laughed and held his hands out in defense. “I can’t help but wonder what you will do when you have this much-prized freedom. My guess is that little will change.”
“Is that a challenge?” She looked at him defiantly.
“Merely an observation,” he shot back with a coy wink. “Food for thought, as it is.”
Helena studied Sebastian curiously, thinking about what he had just said. And the very fact that he had said it.
She had never considered it from that point of view before and wondered just how accurate it was.
Not that it mattered, as that was her life growing up, and she was this way because of it.
However, the fact that Sebastian was aware of this spoke to how well he understood her. Not to mention how well he understood why she had been bucking against him in the first place.
Helena very nearly asked him about this further. She wanted to check whether he would be the cage she feared or more like the tree that was left unguarded so that she would be free to come and go as she pleased, if this marriage continued. Only, she decided not to.
Now was not the time.
Not yet, anyhow. A conversation that needs to be had, but only when the moment feels right.
For now, it was enough to just know where she and Sebastian stood. How effortlessly they spoke with one another. How easy it was to be in one another’s presence.
She did not have to guard herself or consider what she said. He liked how honest she was. He enjoyed that she did not hold her tongue, often saying the wrong thing. And he relished how she challenged him.
It was its own sort of freedom. Able to be herself in ways that she never had before.
Once, freedom for Helena had been about the physical, what she could do and when she could do it. Now, she realized it was about who she was as a person. With her parents, she always had to watch what she said and how she said it. But no more.
And if that indicated what was to come, Helena could not look forward to it more. And from the way Sebastian was eyeing her, that constant smile on his face, she knew he was of the same mind.
“So…” She exhaled deeply. “What is for dessert?”
“Dessert?” he echoed, raising a curious eyebrow. “Not ready to run off, now that supper is finished?”
“Should I?” she asked.
He shrugged. “You are free to do as you wish, Helena. I would never dream of telling you what to do.”
She rolled her eyes because she could sense the humor. “Yes, yes. No need to be too on the nose.”
