“I am.” Another step back. “But thank you, and I will see you later, I am sure.”
“Let us hope so.” Sebastian nodded once.
She forced a smile because she did not want him to grow suspicious. Then, she turned and stumbled out of the room, mind spinning and body aching.
This marriage had changed so much and so quickly. For that, a part of her was glad, as it would make the following months more bearable. But another part cursed the outcome, wondering why she hadn’t just accepted the fate Sebastian offered when they first wed—treated as a stranger and little more.
She had no choice but to revert to her previous mode of operation. Not because she wanted it, but because she needed to. And hopefully, Sebastian would see what she was doing and accept their fate.
Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice at all because this was all in her head.
CHAPTER 14
“Your Grace, you have a visitor.”
In the doorway stood Sally, one of the maids. She was the youngest member of his staff, and she had a warm smile that seemed to light up every room she walked into.
“Oh…”
Helena was hunched over her writing desk as she had been for the last three days, hard at work and with no intention of stopping anytime soon.
In the back of her mind, she told herself that she was simply dedicating herself to her craft and that there was nothing wrong with such a thing. But deep down, she knew the sordid truth.
She was hiding.
“It is Her Grace, the Duchess of Wells.”
Helena found herself smiling, possibly the first time she had done so in three days. “Oh, Anna. Wonderful.”
“Shall I send her up?”
“No, no,” Helena said. She pushed back her chair and stretched her arms out, hearing them crack. “Show her to the back garden and tell her I will be down shortly. It is time I stepped outside, I think.”
“As you say, Your Grace.” Sally bowed deeply and then scurried away.
It had been a rather tumultuous three days for Helena. Three days spent locked in her room. Three days spent avoiding her husband at every turn. Three days of wondering what on earth she should do and how she should do it. And most of all, three days of ignoring her feelings because she felt as if they were purposefully working against her.
Helena was in desperate need of someone to talk to. And who better than one of her closest friends? Even better, this particular friend had been through a similar predicament. As against marriage as anyone, she gave in to the idea and is now living her own happily ever after.
And while Helena was certain she knew exactly what Anna was going to say…
That I want to hear her say it should tell me everything I need to know. The truth I am so desperate to avoid.
It was five minutes later when Helena stepped into the back garden to see her friend waiting for her.
Anna stood by the fountain at the garden’s center, watching the crystal blue water bubbling away in the midday sun. When she heard the door open, she turned around and beamed to see Helena stepping out.
“Helena!” She started along the garden path, her smile growing with each step. “They said you have been sick. I worried you would not be able to see me.”
Helena made her way down the steps and onto the path. She reached her friend, took her hands, and kissed her on the cheek. “Nothing to concern yourself with. Just a little…” She laughed. “In truth, still recovering from the ball.”
Anna laughed. “It is nice to know that some things have not changed. You never were good at self-control, were you?”
“I always found my self-control to be perfectly adequate, thank you very much. It is not my fault that other people expect me to have only one glass of wine and call it a day. That is their problem, not mine.”
“Oh yes…” Anna rolled her eyes. “Shame on your peers for judging you.”
“Shame on them for projecting, you mean.”
