Sebatian shook his head, refusing to go down that path. There were good reasons why he had never wanted to marry, and they weren’t about to change.
What he needed to focus on was his plan and where this would all lead, reminding himself that Helena had a purpose and that purpose would end once he got what he desired.
And surely, she would be glad when this was over. That, as much as anything, was what Sebastian reminded himself of. They were using one another, and despite the companionship growing between them, that would not change.
For all I know, she hates me. But as clever as she is, as determined, she can hide her hatred and focus on what is needed. Let us hope that is the case.
It was because Sebastian was so in his head that he did not realize where his feet were taking him as he stalked the dark halls. And it was because of this that when he came upon Helena’s open bedroom door, he stopped short in surprise.
Inside, he saw the orange glow of a fire burning. He listened, thinking he would hear her awake, doing…
He could not even guess.
But the silence within was loud, the room seemed empty, and despite his desire to keep Helena out of his mind, he found himself creeping closer to the open door.
A smile curved his lips when he spotted her.
She was sitting at her desk, her head resting on the surface, her eyes closed, snoring softly. Beneath her head looked to be pieces of parchment, and there was a used quill on the floor by her feet.
She had fallen asleep while working. Sebastian watched her for a moment, very nearly leaving her be. But memories of today sat firm in his head, and he found that despite how dangerous it was, how stupid too, he wanted to speak to her again.
Just to wake her up and see her to bed, that’sall. Nothing wrong with that.
He crept into her room. He stood by her chair. He peered over her shoulder, trying to see what she was working on, but her arms and head blocked the words.
A smile touched his lips, marveling at her beauty because, despite everything, she was certainly that.
And then, ever so gently, he reached out and shook her awake.
“Huh…” she shuddered and hunched her shoulders, her eyes still closed.
“Helena,” he said softly, giving her another small shake.
“Hhmmm…” Slowly, she started, yawning with her eyes closed, her body turning stiff and then relaxing as she began to wake. “What… where…”
He laughed. “I did not want to wake you, but I thought your bed would be more comfortable.”
“My bed…”
She stirred, her head still on the desk, taking time to figure out what was going on. Then, all of a sudden, she came to herself. Her eyes shot open, and she sat up, almost falling off her chair.
“Oh!”
“Easy there.” Sebastian half moved to stop her from falling.
“What happened?” She looked around with confusion. “Where… where am I?”
“Nowhere exciting,” Sebastian murmured. “But you fell asleep at your desk. And while I was going to leave you here…” He laughed again. “I would hate to think how much pain you would be in tomorrow because of it.”
She blinked quickly, looked up to find him watching her, and then shrank back with embarrassment. “I… I must have drifted off.”
“Clearly.”
“What are you doing here?” It was as if she were trying to sound accusatory but couldn’t find the strength.
“Nothing sinister, I promise. I was just walking by and saw the fire still burning. And you left your door open.”
“Ah…”
