The rawness of it undid her more than certainty would have done. Her vision blurred.
He spoke again, struggling for precision. “I am only hoping I shall not be required to choose between the inheritance of my family and the happiness of my life.”
Her eyes filled despite her effort.
“And I do not wish to be chosen over it,” she whispered. “Nor to be the reason you abandon it.”
“Nor do I wish you to feel compelled,” he replied.
She drew a trembling breath. “I cannot answer you today.”
“I do not ask it.”
“I do not wish to decide for fear of losing you,” she continued. “Nor from any wish to please you without conviction. If I am to agree, it must be because I believe it right — not merely because I love you.”
“You shall have it,” he answered at once.
His grip tightened slightly. “That is precisely why I love you.”
A fragile smile touched her lips. “Then grant me time,” she said softly.
“You shall have it.”
They walked on toward Longbourn in thoughtful silence, the frost crunching beneath their steps. When the house came into view, Elizabeth felt the weight of what lay before her descend fully.
At the door, he released her hand.
“I shall await your answer,” he said quietly.
She nodded.
Inside, the familiar drawing room seemed altered — smaller, somehow. She removed her shawl without seeing it, her mind circling the question with no resolution in sight.
Elizabeth’s heart felt both heavier and more certain than it had an hour before.
She loved him.
That, at least, was not in doubt.
But it seemed everything else was.
What on earth am I to do?
∞∞∞
Darcy did not remember the road back to Netherfield.
He had ridden it often enough since he came to Hertfordshire that his horse required little guidance, and for once he did not resist surrendering the reins to habit. His thoughts were anything but steady.
It had not gone as badly as he had feared.
She had not recoiled. She had not dismissed it as superstition or stubborn pride. She had asked questions—sensible questions. Difficult ones.
And she had not given him an immediate answer.
He respected her for it.
Indeed, a part of him was grateful she had not agreed at once. A ready compliance would have troubled him more than hesitation. Her hesitation meant she understood the gravity of what he asked.
