I had to admit that these feelings I had weren’t exactly those of friendship, but love? Wasn’t that too far?
Yes. It had to be. The last person I thought I’d loved had taken my heart and stomped on it. And the way I felt about Nat was completely different. Did that mean something?
Two knocks sounded at my door, and I swear, it was like someone punched their fist through my brain. Maybe it was her. Why did I hope it was her?
“I’m coming!” I shouted, throwing on some sweatpants before yanking open the door.
There, at the bottom of my steps, wide-eyed and nervous-looking, stood my ex-girlfriend.
“Hey, there.”
“How you doing, buddy?”Gia visibly cringed. Like me, she was probably thinking how weird the word buddy felt. I used to be baby, but that had never felt right either. “Yikes, I mean… hi?” she corrected.
“Hi,” I returned, my brain not fully caught up to why my ex would be here. Sure, she’d been calling, but this was out of the blue, even for her.
“I know you hate me.”
I pondered this. I certainly wasn’t losing any sleep over the woman anymore, but I didn’t hate her. I didn’t hate anyone, except maybe myself right now. “No, I don’t.”
“It’s okay. I’ve been trying to get through to you. But you already know that.”
I opened my arm to the living room, and she took a spot on my shitty couch. She’d always hated that thing. Honestly, anyone who sat on it hated it. I couldn’t believe I’d slept on that piece of garbage.
There wasn’t much room on the loveseat, but I sat as far from her as possible. “Why would we need to talk, Gia? You got my package, right? That was months ago.” I hated the hesitation in my voice. A part of me wanted to sound firm and unwavering. This was the woman who’d ruined my life for months.
“Yeah, it was the best breakup box I’ve ever gotten. Everything thrown in with no thought.” She lifted her head to find my eyebrows raised. “Okay, maybe it’s what I deserved. But I’m here for a reason. Firstly, I wanted to apologize.”
“It’s been ten months.”
Gia’s face fell as she chose her words. “I know, and I should have done it sooner. But the thing is, Mike and Lisa are retiring and want me to take over their vet practice. Obviously, I’m doing it. I just wanted to do you the courtesy of telling you that we may run into each other occasionally.”
Maywas an understatement. The vet practice was right next to Wildwood’s general store. I went there probably twice a week.
“Congratulations.” I meant it. In our early days of being together, she’d planned on moving here if there was a place for her to work. She had gotten along with Mike and Lisa well, and she loved working with animals. Over time, I’d started to think it was a little too small-time for her, but maybe that wasn’t the case anymore. “I bet you’ll love it.”
Everyone had gotten along with Gia. At one point, I’d pictured her perfectly as a Wildwood resident. Now it was happening, even though she wasn’t with me, the way I’d originally thought.
The tightness in her body loosened, and her stiff posture took on more of a wary look. “Either way, an apology is long overdue.”
“You already said you were sorry.”
After Jamie had told me what he’d seen the night before, I’d gone back to my cabin. Gia had been there, drinking tea, full of nervous energy. It had hit me all at once that things had been ending between us. She’d apologized profusely as she told me the truth, right before I’d kicked her out of my cabin. In my defense, she had just cheated on me.
At one point, I’d been grateful. At least it’d happened during the last session of camp. I hadn’t handled being cheated on again well. A lot of hammering took place afterward. The new pod came together much faster than it was supposed to because I’d wrapped myself up in work. That anger had festered for months.
But I didn’t feel that way with her sitting beside me. That was surprising.
“I did in the heat of the moment, but it wasn’t enough. You deserve an explanation. I thought about sending you an email or something, and I just couldn’t. I was embarrassed because of how bad I fucked up.” She paused and took a breath, as if she were waiting for a response from me, but I didn’t know what to say. “I got drunk, Jack. That week was sort of a test in my eyes. To see how we were doing. Whether you want to admit it or not, we were having problems. So, when I’d had too many, I made a big mistake. It’s not an excuse. There is no excuse. But it’s the truth. I don’t even remember her name.”
“Nat. Her name is Nat.” It annoyed me that she didn’t even remember when I’d given Nat such a hard time. Man, just saying her name put a tightness in my chest I still didn’t know what to do with.
Gia’s eyes widened, almost as if she were embarrassed, but it further cemented what she was saying. She gave me a pondering gaze, and I wondered if I’d given myself away. “Right. Nat. I know someone told you what happened, but I promise I was going to tell you myself. I just didn’t get a chance to.”
I wondered how that would have turned out, had Jamie not witnessed it. Probably the same. It would have hurt the same.
“I accept your apology.” The words left my mouth without a thought. I wasn’t holding on to that pain anymore. “And I guess you did me a favor, anyway. Because we were always going to go south. Relationships just don’t work. At least not for me, anyway.”
Gia’s face softened as if she felt pity for me. “That’s not right. Please tell me I didn’t ruin relationships for you.”
