“Will it get you to take your shirt off again? I know how you are with unruly sauce.”
“It waseverywhere, Autumn.” Jamie’s face was full of humor and sweetness. “I had to take matters into my own hands. You saw…”
I leaned over our table and swiped my thumb lightly across the space between his lower lip and chin. Bringing it back to my mouth, I sucked the sauce off my thumb, staring directly into his eyes. He stopped mid-sentence, all his attention focused on that singular motion, and I recrossed my legs at the heat in his eyes. We were too far away from the privacy of my cabin. And my bed. Jamie Davisin mybed. Heat pooled low and hot, but I tried to ignore it, to push it aside like I’d done before.
My throat suddenly felt dry as a desert. Grasping for redirection, I took another sip of my Bellini. “Cooking with you in that class reminded me of your mom. Does she still make her famous zucchini orzo dish?”
His smile broke out again, then a look of something more tense passed over his face before he took a bite of fried ravioli. “Yeah, I think so. I haven’t been back home in a while.”
His gaze was far away, and I wondered not for the first time just how different our lives might have gone. I squeezed his hand across the table.
Jamie weaved his fingers with mine. “She would love this place. I should bring her for her birthday next year.”
I couldn’t contain my smile, stretching wide and unashamed for it. He was going to bring his mom here to tell her all about his time at Camp Starlight. Would he tell her about me? About this?
Hand in hand in the comfort of the candlelight, Jamie chewed his food quietly and didn’t pull away. Eating and drinking one-handed came naturally to me, but Jamie struggled to use his fork because I held his dominant hand. This man was making me smile more than I had in a long time. He brought out my snark and my sweetness. He killed me with his humor, and our shared past was still not as dangerous as the undeniable thing he was doing with my heart.
After a while, I excused myself for the restroom before I could say something really stupid. My thoughts were a chorus of “Tellhim,” and “No, it wouldn’t be fair.” Maybes and what-ifs ran wild through my mind as I struggled to articulate what he was starting to mean to me… Again. Splashing water on my face in the restroom, I’d completely forgotten about the light makeup I’d applied and took a little bit of time with a wet paper towel to fix it. Moments later, I approached our table.
“Yeah, no, great… Thanks, Margaret, for the call.” He paused as I sat back down across from him. “Uh-huh, you do the same.” He looked flabbergasted as he seemed to gather himself before another smile made a home across his face. “That was my boss. I got the promotion.”
My smile matched his. “You got it?” I screeched. “Jamie, that’s wonderful.”
He took another bite of his dinner, delighted in my excitement over his news. “It’s everything I’ve been working toward, all the long hours, all the missed… Just, everything.”
I stood up fast, with all the enthusiasm I had bursting at my seams. “One sec.” I waved our server over with excitement. “Can we please get two glasses of champagne and your famous cherries jubilee?”
“Jubilee?”
“This calls for a celebration. You’re incredible.”
Fullofchampagneandnoodles, I led Jamie along the busy street toward the viewpoint. It was still warm and bright outside as we walked in a comfortable quiet. Taking in the laughter around us, the out-of-towners and locals darting in from shop to shop.
His eyes lit up as we walked past Beans and Beans, as they damn well should. Every town should have a treasure like this even if we weren’t indulging tonight.
“Here we go.” I motioned for Jamie to sit down on a bench in front of the forest.
He slid his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in tighter to his side as I opened the lid of the to-go container of jubilee, then scooted closer to him.
Velvet sweetness sat rich on my tongue and tried its best to comfort me. Watching his face light up as our server lit the rum and kirsch into the sweet syrup, then poured it over the ice cream was permanently part of my favorite memories. He took the offered bite of dessert, holding my eyes as he licked his lips. Neither of us spoke, letting the moment rest peacefully between us for a breath, then two, and then his liqueur-sauced lips were on me. His tongue was a mixture of hot and cool as it slid across mine. My heart raced. My hands found his neck, and the to-go container was carelessly moved behind me. We pulled toward each other, and the kiss was everything we could and couldn’t say.
“What was that for?” I asked a grinning Jamie.
“You had sauce on your lips.”
I smiled into the thin slice of space between us. I pulled away gently and leaned my head onto his shoulder. All earlier thoughts of what-ifs were gone in the harsh reality of one phone call, and now I needed to do my best to be happy for him. He fit here, sure. I wanted him here, but none of that meant this was home for him. Maybe, in a parallel universe, he’d stay.
After seeing what Jack went through all year trying to make things work with Gia, a long-distance relationship was out of the question. And yet why was it suddenly all I could think about? The clock wouldn’t stop, no matter how good things were between us, and Jamie didn’t fill the silence. Instead, we stayedlike that, my head on his shoulder, our hands still clasped in the end-of-summer breeze.
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I’m really glad you came.”
He wrapped me into his side. “I’m glad too.”
I didn’t know what he was thinking, but he seemed to have a lot on his mind despite this positive development. Instead of saying something, he reached beside me to reclaim the opened to-go box. He offered me the last bite of the cherries jubilee, and I took it.
I’d take what I could get from him. I always had. Syrupy richness collided with the bittersweet reality that this, right here on this bench, was as good as we were going to get, and that had to be okay.
