twelve
Jamie
“It’sokaytohavebig feelings, Adam,” I told my nephew, talking him down from a crying outburst of epic proportions. “You can tell me about them any time.”
Ren gave my phone back when he’d seen my family was calling. He’d made me promise not to sink into my workaholic tendencies, and I was making an effort to comply. The emails could wait.
“But I want toseeyou, Uncle Jamie.”
That sent a dagger straight to my heart. But I’d resolved to do better. “It’s all right, little guy. You’re going to see me in four weeks, remember? How many is that?”
He held out his fingers, showing me four.
“Exactly. That’s really soon.” It was amazing how much time and space didn’t matter when it came to my nephew’s love. We spoke every month by video chat, but it didn’t go unnoticed that I needed to put more of an effort in. Monthly calls might not be sufficient now that Adam was older and asking for me.
“And your mom said if you got dressed and went to dinner, you’d get to have a popsicle when you got home,” I tried.
That brought out a smile. “A blue one?”
I nodded, hoping I wasn’t lying. “Yep. A blue one.” What if they were creamsicles?
“Okay, I gotta go.” He dropped the phone on the ground.
“Thank you,” Marley’s voice said from above, and I got a great view of her double chin. I fought the brotherly urge to point that out. “I know you’re on vacation, but he’s been having a rough time this week.”
“I meant what I said. You can call me anytime.”
“But you’re supposed to be taking a break from obligations, not—”
“You and the kids are not an obligation.”
But did it feel like that to them? Was I giving off that vibe? The dagger dug its way deeper.
“Love you, Jamie.” Marley probably sensed the depth of my silence. A crash sounded on the other end of the line, and she looked away. “Shit, I gotta go.”
Between the sounds of Adam’s fit and the yelping of their chihuahua, now wasn’t the time to bring up my ex-girlfriend’s reappearance. Maybe next time.
“Love you too—”
And she was gone.
Autumn’shappinesswasirrefutablewhen she was in her domain. I watched on my walk across the mess hall as she and Jack laughed together. They were clearly comfortable with each other, and I wondered how long they’d been together.
Ren and I took seats across from them, and it felt sohigh school cafeteria. It transported me to a time when I’d sat as close as a sardine nestled next to her.
A lot of things were different now, but some things had never changed, and I wondered again about her life. How had the last decade played out for her?
Autumn’s laugh brought me back to the present. She was happy in this new life and, if I was being honest, happier than I’d ever seen her.
Sometimes, I imagined how different our lives would have been if I’d made the selfish choice. If I had agreed with her back then, just saidokay. But what did I know at nineteen? Probably not enough to keep her. I could do this, though, keep her now, be a friend to her like I should have been all those years ago.
Jack was the luckiest guy in the universe, and he seemed good to her. His carefree, playful shove told me he knew it.
“Hey, sorry for missing craft night. I—”
“It’s fine.” Her abruptness put me on edge, but Autumn moved on and introduced us. “So this curmudgeon is Jack.” She gestured to the imposing, long-haired blond man next to her. It made me wonder how the two of us measured up if we stood side by side. And who would win at arm wrestling.
“I think I saw you at yoga this morning,” he said, with a bright smile and cool confidence. “Some of us were awake,” Jack teased Autumn again, and I shook his hand, wanting to make a good impression.
