Chapter Thirty
Clara slumped against the kitchen counter. Finally, everyone was gone. The party guests, the wedding guests, the hotel guests, the caterers and their staff. The mess was cleaned up and she was alone. Blessedly alone.
Tonight, had been simultaneously the best and worst night of her life. The party went off without a hitch. The wedding was beautiful and touched her heart. She’d played the song she composed for the party. Clara and Honey had gotten together and written a song for Riley and Tricia earlier in the week. Honey sang while Clara played it for the gathering. After that, she’d played Christmas carols and some dance tunes. The guests had a blast.
Two thirds of Coyote Creek must have come through the inn doors at one point or another. The guest list was constantly changing as people came and went. Thank heavens Zane had suggested guest books. One for the wedding, the other for the inn. She’d hired Justice and Amy’s teenage daughters, Hannah and Casey, to man a table by the door to get people to sign the right book. Wedding guests in one, Christmas party guests in another.
The enormous worktable in the library was covered with wedding gifts. Many people hadn’t been invited to the wedding but had brought gifts for the popular couple anyway. Eventually, Riley and Tricia would be by to pick them up for a gift opening after the holiday rush was over. They’d probably have the opening in the new year once things settled down and they could give it proper attention. That wasn’t Clara’s concern, though she’d be invited to the party and there was no doubt that Coyote Creek would use the gift opening as an excuse for another large get together.
She grabbed an open bottle of champagne, poured herself a glass, and dragged a chair close to the common room fireplace. She needed time to relax and unwind before she entered her suite because Zane was in there. He might be asleep already, but she was staying out here as long as she could to make sure she didn’t have to see him.
Thank heaven she’d have an open room tomorrow and could kick him out of her private space. Having him so close was torture. Their kisses were mind bending and heart wrenching. She’d never felt need like he fueled in her with a simple kiss. She couldn’t get enough. He was perfect.
And that, in a nutshell, was the problem.
Zane Ryder was perfect. Handsome, fit, healthy, helpful, kind, generous, intelligent. He ticked off every box in her future husband list, including a sense of humor. As a bonus, he was as sexy as all get out. More than once, she’d come too close to asking him into her bed. So many times, she’d lost track. On three separate occasions, she’d cried herself to sleep knowing he wasn’t here forever, only for a few more weeks. She wouldn’t have a fling with him, no matter how much she wanted to.
A naughty part of her whispered that she could sleep with him and let him go, but she knew her heart wasn’t strong enough to survive the aftermath. She cussed aloud, the single profound word echoing off the silent walls in recrimination. Why wasn’t she the type of woman to have a fling? If anyone could tempt her to abandon her principles, it was Zane.
She chugged the champagne and poured another glass. She’d sipped ginger ale all night, not wanting to be fuzzy headed during the party. Now, it didn’t matter. She could drink herself to sleep if she chose to.
Sometime later, the sound of soft footfalls woke her. Fudge. Would they just go away? She scrunched down in the chair, trying to hide.
“What are you doing up?” Zane asked, coming around into her line of sight. “You must be exhausted.”
“Enjoying a private moment.” She tried to keep her tone level and non-censoring but failed.
“Recouping your balance after a great party? The guests had fun. I enjoyed myself.”
She could almost see the lie in his words. He’d left early. He hadn’t enjoyed himself. Every time she looked at him, he was frowning. There it was, more proof that he wasn’t for her. If he didn’t like open celebrations, he had no place in her life. She adored people and loved to be around them. She’d probably have several parties every year.
“You left early.”
“Because you wouldn’t even look at me.” He pulled over another chair and sat beside her. “What did I do?”
She stared at the ceiling. “Nothing. It isn’t you. It’s me.”
Zane laughed, the sound loud and ugly in the quiet room. It pummeled her heart. “Isn’t that what people say when they really mean the opposite? I thought you’d at least be honest with me, in the interest of our growing friendship. I’m disappointed.”
“Yeah, me too.” She did not want to talk about this. Hurt and frustration were twin bands of pressure across her chest. She wanted to bolt and run down the street, screaming. The depths of her heart were flooded with disappointment that she’d finally found a perfect but totally unattainable man.
“Talk to me, Clara. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s broken. Help me out here.” The naked pleading in his voice carved a groove in her heart.
How could she explain what went on in her head? She didn’t understand herself and sure as heck couldn’t find the right words.
“I might be best if we went back to being host and guest,” she offered. “I’d feel more comfortable.”
“You’re dumping me?” He jerked to his feet, sending the chair crashing backwards.
“Dumping? We’re not even dating. Pick up the chair, please.”
“The chair?” His voice rose to a near shout. “You’re cutting my heart out and you’re worried about a stupid chair?” He righted the chair and dropped back into it. “I’m in love with you, Clara. I think I was from the first moment I set eyes on you, soaking wet in a shower from a broken tap.”
“Look, Zane. A relationship can’t happen between us.” She grasped his hand in hers. “Sure, I enjoy your company. You’re a great guy. I’m not looking for a man.” She barely managed to get the words out without breaking into tears. “Besides, I’m not interested in a long-distance relationship, and you aren’t staying in Coyote Creek. It’s best that we stay friends and not take this any further. I’m content as I am.”
His mouth opened and snapped shut twice before he finally spoke. “I don’t believe you, but I’ll move out of your suite tomorrow. I’m not leaving the inn until the dates I reserved are gone. I’m not leaving unless the police drag me out of here.”
“Whatever. I didn’t ask you to leave.” She couldn’t ask him to leave. She loved him too much. She’d steal every memory she could get before he left. She should have taken the dance he offered. It wasn’t going to make any difference to her already broken heart.
She never should have fallen for him. Somehow, she knew she’d never love this deeply again. It was so unfair that he was smart and lived somewhere else. There was nothing in Coyote Creek for Zane. Not even her. She wouldn’t let him tie himself to her. He’d never be happy in the long run. He deserved better.
