Dorian woke slowly the next morning. Feeling groggy and more than a little irritated at the bright sun filtering through the dusty, cheap glass of the window near the bed. He shifted, then stretched and sighed at the lack of pain. Not just from his wounds, but anywhere. Gods, it had been months since he hadn’t been sore somewhere. It felt good.
His happiness faded when he realized he was alone in bed. He lay still and listened for a moment, unsure whether he was more scared to hear or not hear Hadrian in the house. He would understand if he left. That would probably be easier for both of them. They both knew it was coming. Why prolong the inevitable?
But it would still hurt. More than any wound he had ever taken.
Eventually he heard Hadrian, in the well room. Then he saw him, carrying a pan of water into the kitchen. Dorian watched him quietly from the bed as he dipped the bowls they had used for every meal into the pan and used his fingers to scrub them.
“What are you doing?”
Hadrian jumped at his voice, but didn’t turn around. “I’m washing what we used. Don’t want to just leave the stuff dirty. That feels rude.” Dorian shook his head, but smiled. “There’s some broth on the table. The last of what we have. I was going to get more vegetables, but it didn’t feel necessary.”
Dorian frowned at the cup sitting next to the bed. He didn’t have much of an appetite but he picked it up and drank. When he was done, he went to the well and gathered enough water to wash.
Hadrian was waiting for him by the bed when he got back. He looked nervous.
“What is it? Is something wrong?”
“No,” Hadrian said quickly. “I mean, yes. Sort of.” He sighed. “You are leaving—”
“So are you, I assume.”
“Yes. That’s not…I just. Sorry.”
Dorian walked closer and ducked his head so Hadrian had to look at him. “What is it?”
“I want,” he took a deep breath. “You are leaving. I am leaving. I want to be with you before…”
“Be with me?”
“I want you to fuck me, Dorian.”
Dorian opened his mouth in surprise, but nothing came out. He felt lightheaded. Probably because most of the blood was rushing places that were not his brain.
“If you don’t want to,” Hadrian stuttered. “I just thought…”
Dorian reached out and pulled him in, kissing him deeply as he inhaled everything this man was. He smelled of simple soldier soap and apples and promises of something that was far out of his reach. Maybe he was selfish to accept this. Maybe he was a fool knowing how tightly this would tie him, but he wanted a glimpse of that something, even just for a second. He needed it if he was going to survive what was to come.
He pushed Hadrian back gently until he was laying on the bed and spent a long time just kissing him. His clever mouth, his long, elegant neck, his soft curls, his smooth chest, his soft stomach. He only stopped reluctantly to undress whenHadrian tugged at his clothes before going back to worship him with his mouth and tongue. The sighs and moans and his name whispered in pleasure from this perfect man were all he needed to rise his blood.
“Dorian,” Hadrian moaned when he reached his inner thigh. Dorian licked a line down his leg to his abdomen. He was about to take him in his mouth when he moved. “Wait,” he panted. Dorian sat back, and Hadrian reached over the side of the bed and handed him a small bottle of oil. Dorian took it and turned it over in his hands.
“It’s just a simple oil for the skin,” Hadrian said quickly. “I keep it for healing and…whatever I might need it for. Not that I have needed it for that. This. Not recently, I mean. I have needed it before. I’m not—”
Dorian kissed him. He would never get tired of listening to this man talk, but right now, he wanted to hear other sounds from him. Their tongues met as Hadrian opened for him and sighed into his mouth. Dorian managed to get the top off the oil with one hand as the other found Hadrian's cock and stroked him slowly. He coated his fingers with the oil and then sat back. He just watched Hadrian for a moment while his big, clumsy hand pumped him. It was a mesmerizing sight.
He sat the oil back on the floor beside them and ran one finger over the sensitive spot below Hadrian's balls. He sighed and shifted, trying to get Dorian where he wanted.
“Be patient,” Dorian said.
“I was very clear about my desires,” Hadrian huffed.
“Yes, you were.”
Hadrian gasped as Dorian circled his entrance, then slowly pushed one finger inside him. He tensed around him then let out a long breath and relaxed.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes,” Hadrian said quickly. “Yes. Please don’t stop.”
