"Because if Brighid knew about you, she'd order me to ensure you survived. Because you're a hero who proved you deserve the title. And—” Bláth tilted her head. "Sometimes women have to look after each other."
My head throbbed as I fought back an expression of guilt.
I was no hero. If anyone here deserved that moniker, it was her. A Solheart who'd stood by these people, for no reason save it was the right thing to do.
She deserved the truth.
Instead, I donned one of my many masks and smiled. "Thank you. Don't put yourself in danger on my account, though."
Bláth stood, tucking her hands into her pockets. "No Paragon has ever ordered me around." Winking, she turned and stepped off the porch.
I waited until she was out of earshot to fall apart. Burying my face in my hands, I dug my fingers into my eyes. Willing them to fall asleep, to save me from this waking nightmare.
Panic and terror buried themselves deep in my soul, throbbing like drumbeats.
For a few minutes, I tried to press my demons away. Giving up, I stood. Finding something to do would keep my mind off my imminent doom.
I stepped off the porch and nearly ran into the young man whose leg had been wounded. Messy, mud-caked hair hung around red eyes. The sea-colored pupil buried in his swollen lids glared at me.
He looked to be about fifteen or sixteen. A little younger than Ferris.
"You're the new Paragon, right?" He asked. "Nobody saw fit to mention that, until now."
Reese hadn't told the villagers I was a Paragon, too? That was probably wise. They wouldn't have been comforted by the news.
"I'm not a Paragon, yet," I said, trying to come up with words of solace for the kid. "Just a squire, really."
"You carry the sword.” His eyes flicked to Cierthine's hilt. "Why did it pick a woman?"
"I . . . I don't know,” I said, wondering where this was going.
"Why didn't you give it to someone better?" His voice was hollow. "Someone capable. If they'd been here, maybe my brother would have survived."
His brother. Had that been the young guard he'd sobbed beside?
Saints. Had it been the sweet kid who'd trusted me?
I tried to find an answer. But what could I possibly say?
"Well?" He demanded. "Why?"
The accusation cut through me like a blade. I'd done more than fail them: I'd killed them.
The black tide had arrived after me twice. It followed me. Sought me.
I was the worst kind of monster.
A sharp voice cut through the air. "Because Paragon weapons have a will of their own. They cannot be denied.” Reese strodetoward us, face streaked with dirt. "And had she not been here, more of you would have perished."
The boy glowered at me, unconvinced.
"You're seeking answers that no one can give," Reese said. "All you can do for your brother now is live and ensure he is honored for his sacrifice when the storm passes.”
The boy glanced at Reese and stalked away. I exhaled, thoroughly defeated.
Reese watched him go with a furrowed brow. "Don't take it to heart. People turn to anger when they're grieving."
"I know," I said quietly.
