“I have long told the Phaedra our greatest resource is the spirit of the rebel,” Dr. Cooper said.
Kira bit her cheek until she drew blood to keep her mouth shut. She shuddered violently from the shock of the water.
“The spirit it takes to defy the insurmountable power of the Phaedra… What a miraculous thing indeed. That's far more powerful than the PXI. Too bad it is so hard to tame either one.”
Black dots popped over her vision, and her body floated listlessly in the tank. If he didn't help her soon, she'd pass out. Then what? Would she die?
“If you've had a change of heart and want to end this test, knock on the tank four times. You don't have long before you can no longer do this.”
Kira's hands twitched into fists. Fear pleaded with her knuckles into the heavy lid until they were bloody.
But the numbness from the cold and the delirium from lack of oxygen sparked a hint of peace. If she reached for it, gave in to it, then she might do something that she wasn't strong enough to do. She might let him kill her.
Wouldn't that be a mercy? Zayne warned her about fighting a war she couldn't win. Dying now might save countless lives if her mother gave up the Followers or if Kira broke later.
With her remaining energy, she lifted her fist to the top of the tank, the darkness pulling at her, and she spread her palm over its surface, holding it against the glass for Dr. Cooper to see.
Strength and reason fled, and she fell limp.
She was drowning.
Dying.
And she wanted final words. A final feeling. Sunlight against her skin one final time.
But she only convulsed in that freezing water while her life crystallized into ragged shards of ice. While she lost everything but the hope that death might make her sharp enough to cut free the chains binding and choking those innocent people the Phaedra worked so hard to hurt.
When the darkness engulfed her, agony ripped across her tender skin. She raked a breath so deep into her lungs it ripped her open. She expected water to rush into her lungs, but instead she gasped for air.
Kira rolled to her side and coughed up lungs full of water, sick from the battle to breathe versus to purge her lungs. Hot water burned its way over her body in a new cycle. A new level of shock.
Her body tried to curl in on itself, but she lay listless in the tank. Her own weak sobs echoed back at her.
Kira didn't even feel human. Didn't feel capable of thinking. Only one thing filled her.
Despair.
Because she'd done it. She let herself die rather than give in to the Phaedra and Dr. Cooper. She did that! How had she found the resolve?
And now she'd have to do it again.
Again.
Again.
Again, again, again.
How many times could she welcome death? How many times could she endure suffering so great she longed for the end to come?
As the hot water battered her body and spirit, she saw Zayne twisting toward her in the darkness last night. Every scar on his body shone gold. How many times did he wish to die?
Yet here he was. Serving the Phaedra.
Did Kira really have any hope if someone like Zayne Riven couldn't break free? No matter what she thought of him, he exuded strength and control. And he hadn't earned the snake mark for reprogramming. Only prisoners of war who kept their mouths shut during torture were given that mark. It stunned her tosee the fangs of the snakes on the back of his neck. Kira didn't know he'd gone through that.
Just like she'd known she was drowning, she sensed the surrender approaching. Not yet. Not this round. At some point, she'd lose herself and give in.
She wasn't prepared for this.
