“But here we are.” Zayne watched Luke for several seconds.
He wasn't sure what he hoped to accomplish. Maybe just that he needed to show Luke he would fight back, even with the Phaedra watching. In the end, this proved nothing, except what Kira meant to him.
And Zayne wasn't sure if that was a warning shot to deter his brother, or an invitation to war.
CHAPTER 62
Zayne
The Capital
Kallum, Ciondo
833 P.C. [Post-Collapse]
Silence filled Zayne and Kira's days.
The silence of Mom gone for good.
The silence of all that was forbidden to say.
The silence of suffering too great for words.
The silence of healing that took root in the deepest crevices of despair, that carried no relief but stoked a wanting that hurt too badly to feel or name. That lived in unknown shadows, whispering maybe and not yet and what if.
Gone were the days when Zayne refused to sit beside Kira. It felt so vain now that he thought he could guard against her humanity so easily. Today, they both rested against the fence, saying nothing. Their new routine.
Zayne couldn't stand to see his father right now, and Andi had returned to the Academy. He and Luke avoided one another, as usual. Mellie filled their absence from one another with delivered gifts, like professionally polished boots, while lying to the world about all their cherished time alone this week. Fortunately,Brock knew a quiet morning jog alleviated some of the strain. But everyone and everything else in his world weighed heavily on him.
So sitting in the quiet with Kira felt like sanctuary from the rest of the world.
Memories of Mom and the love that overflowed from her filled the space around them with her presence. They remembered her together without saying a word. This was his greatest comfort.
And so seconds crawled into minutes and hours and days while they survived on one breath at a time, waiting to leave it all behind.
Zayne didn't trust the Phaedra to keep his promise not to hurt Kira. But they were so close to the day. Major Tyndale confirmed the mission details yesterday. Before, when Zayne planned to stay in Ciondo, breaking Kira out was far more complicated. Now that he didn't need to cover his tracks, he would easily infiltrate the camera and security systems. What doors were actually locked to a Riven? By the time anyone knew what he did, they'd be long gone.
Escaping Ciondo and staying free—that worried him.
It must have been that worry that kept Zayne on the other side of the balcony two days before the escape, once again unable to sit beside her. Even outside with the breeze between them and a wide-open view, that horrible need churned in the air, no matter how far away Zayne moved.
Grief consumed them both. It made the air thick as water. Thicker, maybe. Zayne needed to wipe away her tears and hug her close because she was all alone in here. She needed the care just as badly, as critically, as if she was bleeding out before his very eyes, and he refused to bind her wounds.
Only an embrace and closeness could tend to the hurt ripping her spirit in two.
But every time he tried to force his body to move to her, he saw the hungry look in the Phaedra's eyes when he commanded Zayne to hand her heart over to him. It felt so violating to touch her when the emperor watched.
Zayne pressed back against the door, compelled to open it and flee, and even more compelled to go to her. To hold her broken heart in his hands and soothe it.
Terror locked him in place.
He could rip his heart to shreds by ignoring that the Phaedra could see, but another fear panged below that.
What if he hurt her?
Kira's eyes met his. He saw it plainly how she wanted, needed, to do the same for him. To soothe his brokenness.
He realized then the thickness he breathed was blood. They were still covered in it, drowning together. Reaching for something, anything, to pull them above the surface. And there was nothing to grasp but each other.
