Mom
He wrote her in every column. In the margins between. Sprawled across the rest of the names and in a never-ending scream that circled and circled the memorial.
Zayne carved her into the heart of the tree in letters so large that he threw all his strength into each strike.
It still wasn't enough. He'd never write her name enough.
His hands traced the grief that was cut into the walls, because he didn't know the words for this. There were no words.
Knees buckling, he sank to the ground, his muscles exhausted from the battle he waged against the solid wood. Horror and rage and vengeance consumed him and erupted from his chest in a scream.
He screamed it all out.
Roared here with the dead.
Roared with the vow to never etch Kira's name into this wall.
Then he collapsed to the ground beside his mom's name and fell asleep with his fingers resting against her engraving.
Zayne knocked on the cell to Kira's door late in the night. A nervous, groggy voice called out to him to come in.
“It's late.” Her voice hitched with panic, stare searching the area behind him for a threat. “What happened?”
“I brought you a surprise. I didn't mean to scare you.” How thoughtless of him to come at this hour, believing he did her a favor. He wasn't thinking right. “Nothing's wrong.”
Her chest pumped with each breath, and she nodded. “Really?”
“Really.”
Zayne hadn't been able to let another day end without giving Kira a taste of the joy she struggled so badly to preserve after the massacre.
When he opened the door and picked up the cat carrier, he hadn't fully turned when her shocked gasp rang out. Scrambling off the bed, she ran across the room and dropped to her knees, grabbing the door of Pumpkin's carrier.
“Pumpkin, my sweet girl!” Kira ripped open the carrier door. “Oh, Pumpkin. I'm sorry I haven't seen you.” She hugged Pumpkin close, while the cat purred and rubbed against her chin. “Look at you. You're here.”
In the north, he became accustomed to the level of pain that defied the senses and consumed every thought until he couldn't even remember language. He hurt that badly again, wanting his mom to kneel down with Kira and the cat and laugh with them.
But Kira giggled even though she was broken too. And even though Zayne couldn't remember language anymore, couldn't comprehend this level of pain, a smile worked over his face, the kind that felt like a lifesaving breath of air in the middle of drowning.
Green eyes caught his, misted with the tears of both joy and suffering. “You have to give her one good pet.” Kira brought the cat to him. “She loves you.”
Zayne scratched his finger beneath Pumpkin's chin where he knew she loved it. The cat squirmed, and Kira's knuckles brushed his hand. The touch tingled along his skin.
“Kira will take good care of you,” Zayne said.
“Wait, you don't mean she's staying, do you?”
“She is. Pumpkin needs you.” Kira didn't know how true it was. The cat grieved too, alone and missing the most important person in the world to her.
“Oh, Adelle. She's too considerate.” Kira hugged the cat close. “What have I done? I got her friends killed.”
“No.” What did Zayne need to do to take her guilt from her and make it his own? He'd do it. Whatever it was. “You fought for them.”
When Kira's eyes found his, fear overcame her once again, and she stilled. “Something's wrong.”
Leaving her afraid helped no one, so Zayne would distract her.
“We should get the cat's things set up,” he said. Then he carried in the food and supplies. Kira began to unpack everything right away, always fast to help, even now when she couldn't brush her own hair. While they both bent down to the box, he took his opportunity to whisper.
