Not today. It was time to fight back, even if his casual clothes somehow looked more intimidating than his uniform. The jacket he normally wore cloaked his body. The thinner fabric of his shirt hinted at the definition of his chest and arms, hugging his shoulders. Letting Kira see the strength he'd use to crush her.
So, what? Kira felt terrified every time she newspapered an alleyway. That never held her back.
Besides, look at the sunlight pouring over the Phaedran Mountains. She rested her head against the chilly window, drawing on the peace and strength of sunlight shining against frosty mountain peaks. Zayne did not rule over anything she saw out there. Couldn't destroy it or beat it down. It was stronger than him and all the empire.
“I haven't seen the mountains this close in years,” she said.
Zayne didn't respond.
“This reminds me of growing up in the children's home. Once a year, we took a trip out to the mountains as long as we were good. Times like that, we forgot reality when they disguised it so well from us.”
He surprised her by answering, though he avoided looking at her. “It doesn't bother you being tricked?”
“Happiness is never a trick. If you find the good, it's real, even if someone's trying to manipulate you.”
He grunted quietly. What? Was that his way of insulting her without the cameras catching it?
She tore her stare from the window to look at Zayne. His eyes stayed locked on the mountains too, only through the opposite window as hers, because apparently just sharing a view was too intimate for him.
With that stubborn stare nowhere near her, Kira looked at him more closely, desperate to find a flicker of his humanity. But if Zayne hid any softness, as well as the pain of his injury. Better.
Despite the warmth of the bright sun after a long winter, Zayne looked colder than the icy tops of the mountains. Rays of light highlighted the glacier blue of his eyes. Zayne Riven was tragically handsome, wasn't he? Tragically, because his cruelty ruined everything pretty about him. And handsome, because, well, obviously. His light blue eyes glowed in the sunlight like in the movies. Kira always assumed that wasn’t real, but his were so bright. And his deplorable personality didn't soften his high cheekbones. It unfortunately only highlighted the strength of his jaw since he loved clenching his teeth when she angered him. He had such a handsome face and such a disgusting personality. It twisted his allure into something brutal and dangerous.
And she desperately wanted to hate that about him.
Well, did hate that about him. She definitely hated everything about him.
Definitely...
He must have felt her staring because he looked at her, but she didn't avert her eyes. Ironically, she was lucky that he was so intolerable or the Phaedra's plan might work. If those eyes looked kinder, then the isolation of her captivity might tempt her to mistake any softness for decency.
“Do you need something?” Zayne asked, the muscle in his jaw feathering.
“I need many things.”
Kira braced for his wrath, but he merely held her gaze. “I scared you when I warned you about Dr. Cooper. That's why you're acting weird.”
He never said that to her. What did that mean?
The second day he came to see her, he told her she was not allowed to question him or seem surprised if he said anything that confused her. Since then, he'd mentioned a few odd things. The first time, it took her off guard.
Now she memorized whatever he said that didn't make sense.
Just this morning, he told her not to forget about the girl and the forbidden. The what? Made no sense.
“I'm sorry,” she said. “You're right. I'm nervous.”
“I only meant that it's important for you to cooperate with Dr. Cooper, because the Phaedra trusts his counsel. It's easy for the imagination to run wild. I wasn't implying he's dangerous. Relax and be yourself.”
What in the empire was he saying? He acted as if they'd shared an entire conversation. If he said this right now for the cameras, then he wasn't speaking honestly. Did he mean the opposite, that Dr. Cooper was dangerous and she should be scared?
Or was he messing with her for goading him into sitting down and talking to her?
Kira knew to fear Dr. Cooper. They were taking the train to visit a psychiatrist who planned to interrogate her and analyze her. She was on her way to be dissected. But, of course, the comfy sweater the Phaedra allowed her to have eased all fears.
Deep breaths. Many deep breaths. “Thank you. I'll try.”
The way he held her stare a beat longer than usual made her heart race.
