“Yes, well, it was for the best in the end. She's met someone, and they're happy. I had a way of making her particularly unhappy, even before the affair.”
The word stiffened Nadia. He hadn't meant to speak casually about it. Although it was strange that referring to it could feel so uncomfortable when they'd shared many wonderful nights together. How could words be even more profound than the act?
“I have a great deal to apologize for.” Luke smiled, the second time in one day, which only happened with his girls. “I don't have much experience apologizing either, so forgive me if I'm not the best at it.”
Nadia smiled as well now, soft as it was.
“I never wanted to hurt your reputation.” His chest panged as he said it and watched the hurt fill her eyes. “My brother didn't either, no matter how angry he was. We did try to keep it quiet. It's not fair that people were harsher on you than me.”
“I never blamed you or Zayne for everyone finding out about what we did.”
“I deserve blame.”
She held his eyes for several seconds. “Your wife was hurt. It's only human for her to fight back.”
The community hadn't been kind to Nadia. Luke had been forgiven, and not simply because he was a Riven. While no one said this, many treated him as if he couldn't resist a beautiful woman. Like men were beasts with no control, or the love of a woman was too powerful to resist.
Some also speculated his wife didn't please him well enough, often enough, faulting the women in his life instead of him. Disgusting. His wife wasn't to blame. Luke chose the affair. As irresistible as Nadia felt, there was always a choice. When they first became close, neither of them intended anything more than friendship. They slipped into dangerous territory, and when faced with the decision to do the right thing, they chose to betray their partners.
Everyone should hate Luke the most. He did this to his own brother.
Instead, the community afforded him the forgiveness that few were willing to extend to Nadia.
“Come back to Kallum,” Luke said. “That's where you belong. I'll deal with anyone who says a word about you.”
“I'll always be the girl who fucked Zayne Riven's brother. No matter what else I do, how much more I become, that's all there is for me. I did it to myself.”
“You don't deserve to live like an outcast. Most of those people only got to where they are because of who they were born to. You earned your spot in the world, and you deserve the chance to keep it.”
“You're just bothered that you kept what I lost.”
“Yes. I hate it. I feel guilty.” His chest burned with how much he wanted to say the rest. He never stopped loving her, and knowing he'd ruined the life of the woman he loved destroyed him every day.
“Wow.” Nadia chuckled. “I wasn't sure you were capable of guilt.”
Pain squeezed his heart. “You know I am. You know me.”
“Sorry. I'm still bitter.”
Most people thought Luke had very little, if any, feeling in his heart. Being strong enough to keep his composure regardless of the situation didn't mean he felt nothing. That was what his brother couldn't see. They both felt. Luke just knew how to control it better.
“Did you want to apologize for anything else?” The teasing tone of her voice stirred something in his gut. He knew things would never be the same, but what he wouldn't give to go back to their time together. Even for a day. The time when he held her, made her laugh, soothed her tears. Luke wouldn't have left her like Zayne did, no matter what she did to him. He needed her. His brother was a fool for letting her go.
His voice was serious. “I'm sorry for everything.”
Nadia quieted, eyes downcast. “Me too.” When she looked back up, a thin veil of tears shone in her eyes. “How is he?”
The sincerity behind the question stabbed him in the chest. Even now, Nadia would choose him over Luke. “Better in some ways. Still lost and angry.”
“Does he talk about me?”
“No.”
Her eyes lowered again. “Did he move on, at least?”
Luke had to consider before answering. “I think so. He's engaged. It's not likeit was with the two of you, but this woman is a good choice for him.”
“It's for the best that it's not the same as it was for us.”
