“I could get one of the cards required for induction,” I persist. Being confronted with the idea of him forgetting has me cold all over. “We’ll do it in secret.”
“Clara—”
“Then we can—”
“Clara.” He’s crossed to grab my shoulders, stopping my hasty words. His hands slide down my arms, finding mine, our fingers lacing together. “It’s all right.”
It’s not.But I don’t have an opening to say it. Not when he’s speaking so quickly. Not when his resignation is so heavy.
“All I want is for you to tell me before it happens. It won’t matter in the end…But I want to know, if only for a short while, what awaits me in a new world order.”
I give a slight nod. “I will, I promise.”
He hooks my chin and lifts it to meet his eyes. “Clara, don’t worry. I have loved you in every world. There is no version of me that is not devoted to all of you. You are the essence of my being.Thatis our immutable destiny.”
“You truly believe that.” It’s not a question because I see it on his face.
“Never have I believed in anything more.” He releases me.
Even though I want to sink into him, I force myself to leave. There’s work to be done. Places to be. And the idea of not having him at my side…as the Kaelis I know…is so crushing that if I don’t force myself to leave and keep moving forward, then I might just curl up in his room and pretend nothing else exists.
Rain dampens the academy, bringing with it the faint smell of salt from the sea that the storm clouds roll in from. I cross through one of the cloistered halls that circle the large central greenhouse and stare at my reflection in the misty glass. It’s probably one of the last proper storms we’ll have until winter sets in and snow creeps down from the mountains.
Students move with purpose, murmuring among themselves, talking about their preparations for All Coins Day. I grow more numb with each passing hour, knowing what that day will mean—all I will lose and gain.
“She’s going to be doubling her force.” I recognize the speaker: Alor. “We’ll be protected, don’t worry.”
I keep my eyes focused ahead, barely slowing my pace as Alor and the other student come up behind me.
“I wish they’d just find her already,” the other student mutters.
“Emilia says she’s close. I’m sure she is.”
They pass me, and soon the conversation is beyond my hearing. I stare warily in the direction Alor went for only a second before continuing down a different passage.
Vaduin doesn’t look surprised to see me when I open the door to his office.
“Gregor is moving today,” he says as I shut the door. “Sorza went out ahead to scout for him.”
I pause. Everything in me says to find out where they are and offer whatever help I can. But I refrain. This is his goal. And I don’t want to risk my interference impacting his ability to join the Worldkeepers.
“I hope it goes well,” I say calmly. “But I’m sure it will. Gregor is good at what he does, and Sorza is nothing if not resourceful.”
“Bristara trained him well.” Vaduin nods. “And Sorza”—he chuckles—“in some ways her audacity reminds me of myself.”
“All other preparations for initiation going smoothly, then?” I ask.
“We will be ready.” The time is almost here…“Your sister?”
“She’s making progress.” It’s all I can say. Thal has been working with her regularly. She speaks now when she’s not under the influence of their card. Very little, and only the bare minimum. But she does speak. “There’s something else I’m here for.” His eyes flick up to mine. “Do you know of a book titledCornerstones of the Minor Arcana?”
It’s a fraction of a second. A blink. But he tenses ever so slightly. A dilation in his pupils and a short inhale, cut short, that he can’t hide.
“You do.” I’m not sure if he would’ve denied it, but I speak before he has the chance.
“It’s an old book.”
I cross and sit on the other side of his cluttered desk. “Is it as basic as the title sounds?”
