Kat
Fade Into You – Mazzy Star
Freddie’s carrier sits on my lap as the Maybach glides down the highway again. His orange head pushes insistently through the half-open door, whiskers twitching with every bump of the road. One paw stretches out and presses against my thigh, like he’s checking I’m still here, like I might disappear again if he doesn’t keep his hand on me. Like I’ll abandon him again.
My fingers move through his fur mindlessly as he lets out a loud, satisfied purr and nuzzles his head even deeper into my palm. The vibration travels up my arm and hits me straight in the heart.
Fuck, I missed that sound.
I forgot how loud he is when he’s happy.
Outside the window, the Bridgeport skyline appears on the horizon as we speed towards it. Guardrails and hedgerows rush past us as we break every speed limit in the state. Right now, I couldn’t care less.
Freddie wriggles until he’s halfway out the carrier, climbing onto my lap like he’s reclaiming his territory. His tail flicks back and forth as he settles, orange fur catching the dim light filtering through the Maybach’s tinted windows. One clawhooks itself into my stockings, creating a hole I know will form into a ladder in no time, but I don’t even care. He can shred them if he wants. I’d buy a hundred more pairs if it meant I never had to leave him again.
“He’s an impatient little one.” Elias chuckles beside me. “He must take after his mother.” His voice drops low as he gives my thigh a torturous squeeze.
Freddie, now completely out of the carrier, gives Elias’s hand a quick sniff before kneading his paws into my thighs and curling up into a warm orange ball.
“I can’t believe he’s here,” I murmur, scratching under Freddie’s chin. “I thought I’d never see him again.”
Elias’s thumb traces small circles over my thigh. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore, little rebel. You just have to make up for lost time.”
His words settle harder in my stomach than he probably intended them to. I stare down at Freddie, my fingers pausing briefly in his fur. Lost time indeed. Weeks of imagining him somewhere else. Somewhere unfamiliar and cold. Wondering if he thought I’d abandoned him.
My throat tightens. “Elias?” I say softly.
“Mm?”
But I hesitate. All the questions are lined up, ready to be fired out.
How did you find him?
What did you have to do?
Was he happy?
The words stick half-formed in my throat, and I pause, my mind drifting back to the practice room with Ryland. The words whisper like ice around my mind.
Do I even want to know?
I’m definitely in denial, but I don’t think my heart can take any more shocks today. There is something about him that I’ll have to confront someday. But that day is not today. Today is about spending time with Freddie and making sure he knows how loved he is.
“Thank you,” I say finally.
Freddie stirs again and crawls up Elias’s arm. He gives him a small sniff before settling into the crook of his neck. His purrs grow louder than the Maybach’s engine.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I say, reaching for Freddie.
Elias grabs my hand midair and pulls it back down to my lap. “It’s fine.” He chuckles. “It’s an honor to be approved by him.”
My heart flutters in my chest. The picture in front of me right now is one I’ll commit to memory until the day I die. Elias has his head resting on Freddie’s side as Freddie sits nuzzled into his shoulder. Both of them seem content. For a moment, the chaos of the day fades into something distant and blurry. There’s just this car, this quiet stretch of road, and the ridiculous sight of the most beautiful and intimidating man in Bridgeport acting as a human cat pillow.
I hold Elias’s hand as the rest of the drive passes easily between us. By the time the familiar streets of my neighborhood appear, Freddie is back on my lap fast asleep. Elias pulls up outside my apartment and shuts the engine off. Freddie immediately lifts his head, ears twitching.
“We’re home, boy,” I whisper to him as I gently scoop him back into the carrier.
He protests with a small chirp, clearly unimpressed with the sudden loss of freedom, but he doesn’t fight me. Elias rounds the car and opens my door. The winter wind bites and I’m gravely remindedagainthat I’m dressed in last night’s clothes.
