“How could you have known?” I ask, but he doesn’t reply.
We stay like this, with him kneeling on the floor in front of me like it’s the most natural position in the world, until my breathing levels to a normal pace again. The buzzing under my skin fades to a low hum. The darkness is still there in the periphery of my brain, but for now, it’s quiet. Distant. The noise from the bar has disappeared, only the sound of distant sirens slips in through the crack in the window.
I glance at the clock above the door, and my heart drops at the time. “I should go,” I say as I stand. My knees wobble slightly before regaining their strength. “I should thank you. No one’s ever carried me before. You can take the chiropractor’s fees out of our next pay.”
He gets up from the floor, and my nervous laughter dies as his frame almost dwarfs my own. He stands mere inches from me, and I’ve never felt smaller. Silently, I chide myself for such a stupid joke.
“You are nothing to be ashamed of Kat,” he says, his eyes burning holes into my own as if he can see right through me. The air whooshes out of my chest at the directness. The heat of his body radiates into the chill of my own.
I take a step back and pull my phone out of my pocket. “I should call an U—”
“Absolutely not,” he cuts me off, reaching into his own pocket and pulling out a set of car keys. “I’m driving you home.”
I open my mouth to protest, but quickly close it again when the look in his eyes tells me this is not up for discussion.
He hovers his hand over the small of my back and guides me out of the door, and a slight shiver runs through me at the contact. He leads me down the stairs and through the back entrance of Headstone. At the end of the alley, I spot a beautiful black Porsche. I almost miss it at first, the black paint blending into the surrounding night.
“Who’s driving a Porsche to a dive bar?” I ask with a small chuckle in an attempt to break the thickening tension around us. My smile quickly fades when Elias presses the button on his key fob and the lights on the Porsche flash.
“Me,” he says, and it takes everything in me not to shy away from his smirk.
As we get into the car, I’m careful not to scratch, touch, or otherwise ruin anything. This car easily costs more than five years of my rent. I tap my address into the navigation system, careful not to press too hard, as he peels away from the curb slowly so as not to spook me. No one who owns a Porsche should drive this slow.
I watch the city pass by beyond the window, but it does nothing to quell the storm of emotions swirling inside me.
“What happened to Kirk?” I ask in a whisper, barely audible even to myself.
“You don’t have to worry about him,” Elias replies, finality lacing his tone. His grip on the steering wheel seems to tighten.
I don’t allow myself to think about his words, slamming the steel bars of my mind shut. We settle into a comfortable silence for a while before we arrive at my apartment.
“Thank you,” I say after a few moments.
His eyes soften in understanding.
I open the door and step out into the crisp October night. Hugging my arms around myself, I walk to my door, throwing a quick glance over my shoulder to find he’s still there.Watching me.
I lock the apartment door behind me and slump against it with a heavy sigh.
For the second time in just as many days, I’m left wondering:What the fuck happened tonight?
Fifteen
Elias
Locust – Machine Head
Iwatch until she’s safely reached her apartment, not failing to notice the occasional glances she throws my way to check that I’m still here.
I’m not going anywhere, little rebel.
I wait a few minutes after she closes the door before pulling the Porsche into gear and driving away. Her rose and honey scent lingers in the air, and I fight not to lose control of the vehicle.
As I hit the stoplight, my mind wanders back to Headstone. My hands tighten on the wheel until the leather creaks beneath my grip. I can still see him, stumbling after her like she was fucking prey.
I watched their entire set from the security cameras upstairs. Something told me she needed a distraction-free night. But my generosity only goes so far. I was seconds away from closing down the monitor and heading downstairs when I saw him pull her back. I saw the look in his eyes through the grainy footage. I’ve seen it a thousand times. Something shifted inside me. Something that has remained composed for years. I was down the stairs before I’d formed a thought. After bulldozing my way through the crowd and getting to her, I fractured.
Her body stood upright, but her eyes lost focus, as if she had stepped somewhere else entirely. I know that look. I’ve seen it in interrogation rooms, in men who checked out because their minds were safer than the reality they faced. Tears fell down her beautiful cheeks as his slimy hands touched her. I’ve seen women fight. I’ve seen them claw, bite, kick, and draw blood. But this wasn’t one of those times. She simply left. Her body was there, but she wasn’t. By the time my fist connected with his face, I wasn’t thinking about anything else. Only her.
