“Hey,” she called when we were right next to them. They all greeted us back.
At the sound of her voice, Fitz turned in his seat and broke into a lovestruck smile. “Hey, Mrs Hall. Can I get a kiss?”
Maddie snorted and left my side. She bent down to kiss her husband. “See you at lunch?”
“Yeah. I love you,” he whispered before pulling her into another kiss.
“Love you, too, Mr Fox.” She stalked back to my side, flustered as fuck.
“You two are the cutest.” I sighed. “I’m so glad you found each other.”
“Same. I never thought we’d get another shot, and I’m glad neither of us wanted to waste it.”
Is that what I’m doing? Wasting the one shot at the love of my life I never thought I’d get?
I guessed deep down I’d always known that Lewis kissing me hadn’t just been an accident. The way he had behaved towards my boyfriends in the years after it had told me everything I needed to know. I had never admitted it to myself, though. Only now, over a decade later, could I put into words what my heart had known.
He kissed me because he was in love with me, and it confused him, of course it did. It confused me, too. Him avoiding me after the kiss had broken my heart. Lew had always been Ollie’s best friend, but—unlike my big brother—he’d never made me feel like a nuisance. Where Ollie had rolled his eyes when I had tagged along, Lewis had insisted on including me. It had been an innocent kind of affection, one that never truly grew into what it should have been because of his jealous behaviour.
It made me sad that we had been too young to appreciate what we had, but a stubborn part of me insisted I shouldn’t give up everything I’d worked so hard for, because Lewis Sinclair finally grew up and came clear about his feelings.
Are you stubborn enough to leave the one man you ever truly loved?
“I’ll grab the coffee for us, okay? Be right back,” Maddie said gently and left me at our usual table by the window front.
I sat with my back to the window and my eyes fell on Lew again.
But how could I leave when everything I wanted was here? I’d never voiced this feeling before but whatever living in Bali had been, it was so far from what made me happy that the mere idea of going back to it was laughable. It was a fantasy I’d constructed for myself:Noah Bright, successful travel entrepreneur and writer, living near the beach and forever having the perfect set for my photos. Only I had fallen into a trap I’d never wanted to fall into: I’d lived my life so it looked good on ArgoS not how it felt. And if I admitted it to myself, it hadn’t felt good in a long time. Over the years, I had met plenty of adult film stars who made their money with porn. Some of them had become friends, and I was the last person to judge them; they were amazing, kind hearted, and worked their asses off to make a living. It had never been something I wanted to do with my life. I was sure that going back to Bali meant going back to a career that didn’t make me happy, and to a community of convenience with no real ties. Not like here at Lone Fox where, for the first time in over a decade, I felt that I was at home.
“Here you go.” Maddie placed a cafe latte in front of me. “Are you okay, Noah?” she asked in a low voice when she’d taken the seat opposite of me.
“Yeah, I’m grand. I was just lost in thought, sorry.” I pushed the chaos in my mind back behind the barrier between me and my emotions, and focused on my friend again.
“I promise I don’t want to intrude or overstep any boundaries, okay? There’s just one thing I want to tell you, and that’s the last thing you’ll hear from me on this unless you bring it up again. But someone gave me this advice once, and I’m passing it on to you. It’s never too late to speak your truth, and when you’ve found your person, don’t make the mistake of ever letting them live in doubt about your feelings.”
A tear spilled from my eye, just one single tear, and I couldn’t help but admire the dramatic beauty of it.
“Thanks, Maddie.”
“Of course. Okay, I’ll keep my promise and change the subject now, if that’s okay with you?” she asked.
“Yes, please.” I winked at her only to catch sight of Lew over at the other table again. He sat with his back to me, and I was mesmerised by his tail coiling and uncoiling behind him. The way the black tip twitched occasionally was so enticing. It reminded me how much he loved it when I rubbed the base—and how horny it made him—and how he wrapped his tail around me to keep me warm.
Maddie glanced over her shoulder to see what I was looking at, then she giggled. “So, the Christmas market.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Why do you think I sit with my back to Fitz? I’d be drooling over him all the time, and then we wouldn’t get anything done. Why are our men so hot, huh?”
“No idea,” I said dreamily, and we both burst into laughter again. “Okay, the Christmas market!” I forced my face into a neutral expression but broke down into a fit of giggles after a moment.
“Yes, the Christmas market.” Maddie took a deep breath, then snorted again.
It took us a couple of minutes to calm down enough to actually start talking about that damned Christmas market.
***
A day later, I went out onto the grounds to take pictures of the preparations for the market. I tried to stay out of the way and got plenty of great pictures of all our helpers. Even the weather was on my side and we got a dusting of snow that added a festivefeel to the photos. Then I warmed up by the fireplace in the staff room, and posted a ton of my shots on our page.
