“I’m sorry about earlier, Noah,” I said. I didn’t dare to get closer to him. “I was a jealous asshole. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. I’m—”
“I know.” He snorted and crossed the room to where I stood by the door. “Listen, Pretty Kitty, I am not interested in anyone else.” He raised his soulful eyes to my face. “Duncan is hot. I mean, thick, that kilt, the nose ring? That’s the holy trifecta of hotness. And Hunter is definitely my type. But I. Am. Not. Interested.” He accentuated every word with a poke in my stomach. “I just want ….” Noah smirked and dragged me downby the front of my shirt until our mouths were barely an inch apart. “You. I just want you.”
He kissed me hard.
“Just stop with this bullshit,” Noah scolded me and nipped my lip. Gods, it made me feral when he did that. “It wasn’t cute when we were kids, and it’s not cute now.”
“Okay. I’m really sorry. I promise, it won’t happen again.” It wouldn’t. I cringed in embarrassment at how I’d escalated every single time someone so much as looked at Noah the wrong way. He was right. It hadn’t been cute in school, and it was even dumber for an adult to lose control like that.
“Come to bed with me.” Noah pulled me out of my head and into the bedroom. He laid down and invited me to curl up against his front so he could spoon me. “I love you,” he whispered into my neck. “So stop behaving like a cunt, Sinclair.”
Chapter 27
Noah
The next couple of days kept Lew and me at opposite ends of Lone Fox and deep in the trenches of our own projects.
I’d barely gotten my online design tool started to build some more posts for our social media when someone knocked on my door.
“Good morning, Noah.” Maddie poked her head into my office. “Do you have a minute?”
“Sure, come in.” I waved her inside.
“It’s so lovely to have you around.” Maddie sighed as she took a seat on one of the extra chairs. “I hate how our brains don’t remember how good it feels to have friends nearby until they are close. It makes me so sad sometimes.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Small mercies, though, right?” I had to laugh or I’d start crying.
I would forget how good it felt to be near Lewis and how much Lone Fox Distillery felt like the home I’d never had. My brain would gloss over it and replace it with new people and new places. The mere idea pierced me like a knife, and so I shoved it aside.
We can’t afford a panic attack now. Later, when we’re home, I promised my ever-present anxiety. It lay dormant, like a stalking Mr Pickles on the hunt for dust motes, ready to pounce the moment it spotted a weakness in my defence.
Maddie pushed her silver, wire-framed glasses up her nose and gave me a sad smile as if she knew exactly what was on my mind.
“I just wanted to check in with you, and I really need a coffee. Do you want to grab a cuppa with me?”
“Oh God, yes.” I got up and stretched. “Great idea. I’ve only had … three cups so far. Aah, the joys of surviving off spite and enough caffeine to kill an elephant.”
She threaded her arm through mine. “You know, I love all the people at LFD, but it’s lovely to have an ADHD bestie here.”
Alright, go ahead and make it even harder for me to leave, Mads.
I knew what she meant. Having Madeline back in my life had not come with the usual awkwardness I experienced when I saw someone again after a long time. Normally, we traipsed aroundeach other without ever addressing the obvious: how I knew that I sucked as a friend and that they were upset with me.
Maddiegotit. I was sure I could have come back into her life at eighty and she would have loved me exactly as much as she had at twelve.Same. We’d taken back up our friendship seamlessly. It was good to have her in my life again.
We left the building that housed our offices and sprinted across the driveway to escape the steady drizzle.
“Ugh, this was one thing I didn’t miss when I was in Bali,” I said as we burst through the pub doors.
“The cold?” Maddie asked.
“Cold rain, and having to wear six layers of clothing in winter.” I rolled my eyes. “I love it when I’m inside, though, and it’s pissing down outside, but the fire’s lit and you have someone—” I broke off when I spotted Ollie and Lew sitting at a table with Perla, Fitz, and his distillers Jaymes and Chris.
“To curl up under a fluffy blanket with. Props if they’re fluffy, too,” Maddie added in a voice so low only I could hear it.
Lewis’ aquamarine blue eyes found me over Fitz and Ollie’s heads. The smile he gave me was minuscule—barely a lift of one corner of his muzzle—and yet it made my stomach swoop so hard I gasped a little. I bit my lip to hide my own smile.
“Right?” my friend snorted as if I’d just proved her point and pulled me onward.
