“From what you told me, they weren’t even after you. You just got caught in the crossfire,” Tommy says, his hand sliding to my neck.
“I still should have known,” I choke out. “I should have…”
Tears lick at the corners of my eyes. Tommy shakes his head.
“Should’ve, could’ve…you didn’t. And it’s not your fault, Aleksandr. The world we live in, the lives we live, it’s dangerous and we never know what is going to happen next.”
I take a slow breath. “I try to know. I still don’t,” I admit. “And I try to kill those who deserve it, but who am I to judge that?”
Tommy chuckles darkly. “Right or wrong depends on the day and who we’re working for, doesn’t it?” he asks. “The Bianchis think they’re doing what’s right, but they couldn’t be more wrong.”
“They’re fucked up is what they are,” I whisper. “But so am I.”
“That’s fine with me,” Tommy tells me.
“Is it?” I press my forehead against his again. “What if I told you I’m not sure I’ll ever get over my wife? Is that something you want to stick around for?”
Tommy’s brow furrows. “She died. She didn’t just leave. I don’t expect you to get over that shit. I’m not exactly the posterchild of well adjusted. The first time I killed a man I watched the life bleed from his eyes while my hands were wrapped around his throat, and Ilikedit.”
I feel his breath against my mouth and brush my lips against his. “I guess we’re both pretty fucked up,” I whisper.
Tommy smirks, and then presses his lips against mine.
“So, you went and got yourself caught up with them anyway, after I told you not to?” Carmine scolds Tommy as we stand in the board room of the Dresvanni estate.
Tommy shoves his hands in his pockets and just stands there, not talking, and not even looking at his brother.
“If it weren’t for me, he would probably be dead,” I add in. “It was a stupid decision.”
Tommy glares at me. For some reason, the fact that he can actually look at me and not his brother makes me smirk.
“Stupid doesn’t fucking cover it,” Carmine hisses.
Tommy growls under his breath. “I know it was a fucked-up decision, okay?” he finally speaks. “I don’t need you to repeat it to me. I have the scars and bruises to prove it. I just thought?—”
“You didn’t think, that’s the problem,” Soren insists. He’s standing next to Carmine with his arms folded. “You went in guns blazing because you couldn’t resist.”
“Shut the fuck up; I wasn’t talkin’ to you,” Tommy snaps. “I’m talking to my brother and only my brother. I don’t need your two-cents in the mix.”
Soren glowers and steps closer to Carmine like he’s leaning on him for support.
“Soren is a part of this family; I’m not going to tell you again,” Carmine says.
“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Tommy replies. “I did think, more than any of you have been. I thought going after them might prove that they’re not interested in talking, because I know they aren’t. All they want is power and money, and we can’t give them all of that.”
“We can give them more money than the Bianchis,” Tiberi adds in from his stance on the left side of the wide table. He looks bored, but he always has from the moment I first saw him.
“Okay, say we give them the money. How long until they decide it isn’t enough and they want more?” Tommy asks. “How long will they wait until they come to us demanding we give them say over our domain and access to all our funds and weapons?”
His eyes dart over to me as if looking for support. I keep my mouth closed for the time being, and look to Carmine, watching his face.
His expression falters. I can tell that he’s taking Tommy’s words seriously.
“I don’t know, but I know if they join the Bianchis they will become even more obnoxious than they already are,” Carmine says. He looks to me. “Is there any chance that we can get them to back off?”
I narrow my eyes before answering. “I don’t think so.”
“See, even he knows it’s not worth it.” Tommy waves an arm at me.
