“The way I see it, you’ve dropped the idea of being with Shake. You’re in love with a guy who sounds pretty great. And—what a stroke of luck—you happen to already be married to him. But instead of having some joyful reunion down in Texas, you’re here, so…what is it exactly that you’re scared of? Why aren’t you rushing to see him?”
Despite myself, I almost grin. This is the side of my sister I’m much more familiar with. The cut-and-dried, no-nonsense tone. Quick and direct. Always getting straight to the point. Actually…she sounds a lot like me.
“It’s not that simple,” I say.
“I know. But tell me why. Why isn’t it that simple?”
“Because I don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t know how he feels. I mean, he signed the papers, Akka. And he made it sound like he thought that was best. That we both needed a clean break and a chance to start over and—”
“But isn’t that what you told him? Isn’t that what you told him you wanted?”
“Yeah, but—”
“So, it sounds like he listened to you. My question is, have you been listening to him?”
Shame floods through me in a flash. My sister’s words remind me too much of what Nikhil once told me. That I was a steamroller. That I rushed and pushed my wants and desires without consideringhis.
He’d wanted me to stay. He’d wanted me to be with him. He’d asked me to. And I’d told him that I wanted to come back here to run for office, that I wanted to do it with Shake, so he’d given me that instead.
What am I scared of? Really, the question should be what am Imorescared of? Because I’m scared that I just blew up my chance at a political future. I’m scared that by not going through with my plans with Shake I’ve left my dream career in the dust. But I’m even more scared of losing Nikhil for good.
Part of me wants to run to Houston. To show up at Nikhil’s doorstep and tell him that I love him, but I want to do more than just tell him. I want to show him that I’ve been listening. That I’ve been listening to what he wants, that Icareabout what he wants. I want to support him and his dreams, the way he always supported mine.
I quickly pull my phone out of my purse and enter a website I’ve visited numerous times over the past two weeks. I only have to typethezfor the exact link to populate. I wait, but the page loads at a glacial pace.
“What’s your Wi-Fi?” I ask my sister. She rattles it off, along with a complicated password, and I enter it in, hoping it’ll speed things up.
“What are you doing?” she asks, leaning over my shoulder to peek at the screen.
“Nikhil bought this place. An inn. But it took a hit during the storm, and he’s listed it for sale, but he basically listed it for nothing. I’m going to put in an offer. Just so if he changes his mind, he can have it back. And if he really doesn’t want it anymore, I’ll sell it. I’ll help him find a new place. A better property. But the way he talked about this one…I don’t want him to regret giving it up.”
The page finally loads, but my stomach sinks as I read the words under the address.
Off Market.
No. No, no, no. I knew someone would snap it up. At that price and with that location, I’d expected it to happen, but I thought I might have been fast enough. I thought I might have had a shot.
I search, trying to find out who bought the place, but nothing comes up. Whoever grabbed it must have wanted to keep it private. I groan.
“Someone bought it,” I tell my sister. My head hits the back of the couch, my body slumping with defeat.
“Who?”
“It doesn’t say.”
We sit in silence for a bit, my big imagined grand gesture moment crumbling into nothing. When we were together Nikhil rarely talked about his dreams. He was vague those areas of his life. He didn’t talk about school or work or his own ideas for the future, butnow he has. He didn’t have to, but he showed me the inn. He laid his dreams for the future bare. He was vulnerable in a way that I’d never seen from him, and for the first time that I can remember, he asked me for help. And I’d promised him that I would give it. I’d promised to help with securing funding for the repairs. I can’t break that promise now.
Nikhil was there for me, through my lowest and darkest moments. When I failed the bar, he didn’t let me give up on my dreams. He encouraged me, supported me, and listened to me. He held me while I was broken so I could put myself back together. How can I not do the same for him?
I sit up straight, opening a new window on my phone. “I’m going to Houston,” I tell my sister.
“What?”
I check for flights, quickly making plans. “I’m going to go down there. I’m going to find out who bought the place and I’m going to get it back.”
My sister’s eyes light with surprise. “But how…how are you going to do that?”
“I’ll check the property records. I’ll ask around. I’ll show up at the site and see who’s working on it. I don’t know, but I’ll figure it out.” I smile, feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks. This might be the worst, least thought-out plan I’ve ever had, but I’ve never felt so confident. So sure that things will turn out. I don’t know how yet, but something about this feels right.
