“Paul,” Karthik interrupted, his voice a shade louder than usual. “It’s fine.” Paul’s mouth slammed shut, and Karthik felt the need to clarify. “You have nothing to apologize for,” he said. “But I appreciate you saying that.”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Paul hesitated, as if he was about to say something more, but he seemed to change his mind, glancing away instead.
Karthik waited, but Paul remained silent, forcing Karthik to continue the conversation. “And are you…doing well? With school and stuff?”
Paul gave Karthik a look he couldn’t quite decipher. “Uh, yeah. Things are fine. I mean, this semester’s kicking my ass, but that’s what happens when we get closer to finals.”
“When are they?”
“In a few weeks.”
“Good. Well, umm, study hard.” Karthik cleared his throat. “Is that what you wanted help with? Because it’s been a while since I was in school, but I could probably…”
Paul let out a rough laugh, shaking his head. “No. No. It’s nothing like that.” He looked down at the ground, his foot tapping rapidly against the floor. He seemed nervous for some reason, and Karthik couldn’t figure out why.
“Paul, are you…okay? Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just wanted to ask you…” Paul reached for his drink, taking a long sip of his coffee, as if he needed it to gain courage. To give him the strength to say what he needed to say.
Karthik raised his mug to take a sip of his own. He was still swallowing when Paul finally asked his question.
“I, uh, wanted to ask you…How do you know if you’re in love?”
Karthik choked, coffee gurgling in the back of his throat. He grabbed a paper napkin, but managed to gain control of himself, narrowly avoiding sputtering his drink across the table.
“What?” he croaked once he’d recovered.
Paul groaned. “God, I knew this would be embarrassing. I’m sorry. It’s just…I didn’t know who else to ask. My parents aren’t together anymore and none of my friends are in serious relationships. And I really like my girlfriend. Like, a lot, but I’m not sure if…if it’s love.”
“And you decided to ask me because…”
“Because you’ve got it all figured out. With your fiancée, I mean. You seem so happy.”
Karthik’s surprise almost made him choke again. He must have gotten better at faking it than he’d thought.
“Well,” he started, unsure how to even begin to answer Paul’s question. “That’s because Meghna is…special. She’s, uh, the one.”
“Right,” Paul said impatiently. “But how did youknow? How did you know that she was the one?”
“I just…did.”
Paul looked at him skeptically, and Karthik scrambled to come up with something more believable. “Love can’t be explained, Paul. It’s just…It’s wanting to be around the other person. And…wanting to talk to them. It’s wanting to hear about their day and tell them about yours. It’s doing everything in your power to make them happy, even if it comes at a cost. Even if it means denying yourself or sacrificing something so that they can be happy. So that they can get what they want. It’s caring about them more than you care about yourself and showing them how much you care. Every day.”
Karthik stopped, taking a deep breath. He’d probably just bumbled the whole thing. Just made it clear that he knew nothing aboutlove. That his entire relationship was a fraud. But Paul didn’t seem to be calling his bluff. He was just watching him, quiet and thoughtful.
“Is that how you feel?” Karthik asked. “About your girlfriend?”
Paul waited a moment, then sighed. “I don’t know, man. That all sounds a little too intense for me.”
Karthik shrugged, relieved as the conversation drifted on to lighter topics. Paul regaled him with bits of office gossip and rumors, then shocked Karthik when he got up and gave him a quick hug and slap on the shoulder before saying goodbye.
Karthik walked back to his apartment a bit bemused by the whole experience. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. He was just thankful he’d been able to come up with something on the fly when Paul had asked that absurd question. He put the strange conversation out of his mind as he unlocked his door and grabbed some leftover takeout from the fridge. Then he dialed Meghna’s number, making good on his earlier promise to call her back.
She answered, and his shoulders relaxed at the sound of her voice. She asked about his day, and Karthik filled her in on the conversation with Jim.
“So, you feel like you got the job?”
“It’s way too early to tell,” he said. “But I’m still in the running. At least, Jim made it sound like I was. Fingers crossed I’ll get another interview with the panel.”
