“No,” he laughed, shaking his head. “My commitment.” Crispicked up one of the cookies, looked at it, and put it back down on the plate. “This is going to sound weird. When you do things for a disease foundation, it’s great. Don’t get me wrong. I know how much good work they do. It’s that I kind of always wanted to do more.”
“Like start your own foundation?”
“No, no. I mean do more to help people directly. Before my dad died, I spent a lot of time at the hospital with him. I watched how the doctors and nurses took care of him, and before that time, I thought the best thing you could do as a human was push physical limits like we do in sports. That thought is embarrassing to me now. When I saw what they did—the nurses, doctors, and everyone in the hospital—how they did everything they could to make one man pass with as much dignity and grace as possible, I was blown away. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was in the wrong career.”
“So you want to be a doctor?”
“I think that’s a bridge too far, to be honest,” he said, laughing. “But thank you.”
“That wasn’t a compliment?”
“Allora!” Graziella yelled, and Ellie turned to look at her grandmother. She had clearly done something distressing, though Ellie had no idea what it was.
“Losers buy lunch, don’t forget!” called Ugo.
“Who can be hungry in this heat?” asked Renata.
“Me!” said Ugo and Simone in unison.
Cris chuckled at the banter from the court, but his face became serious again. “I am talking about doing something a little different. I want to start edging my way into healthcare. I am not ready to talk about it yet because I don’t want people to know, frankly. I don’t wantto cause more stress for myself or anyone else I might be taking classes with—I mean,ifI take classes. Also, to be honest, I’m not sure if I’ll be good at it and the last thing I need is another public mess.”
“Classes. What classes would you be taking?”
“This is off the record, right?”
“No.”
“Then I am not talking about it.”
“You have to.”
“No, I don’t. Don’t I get to protect myself here?” Cris picked up the cookie again.
“Protect yourself? I don’t think that’s the point of this interview. People have to think you’re being transparent or this isn’t going to work.” Hadn’t she told him this dozens of times? Or was he still trying to do it his way?
“I don’t need extra judgment when I’m trying to back myself out of a whole pool of it,” he said, waving the cookie in front of himself. He looked at it, took a bite, and put the rest back on the plate again.
“You’re telling me that you don’t need judgment. But you’re going on my show because youwantpeople to judge you. You just want the judgment to be positive,” she said. “Look, I know how this stuff works. You have to be completely open to answering any question on a show like this or people will be able to tell. You have to be fearless.”
“I just don’t want to hear people tell me that I am being ridiculous. And sorry, I know you’re the expert, but I can’t approach this like I’m ready to confess everything back to stealing my brothers’ good Halloween candy,” he said.
“You don’t get it, do you? I am trying to help both of us, but I can’t help you seem honest and worthy of empathy if you’re worried aboutgiving away secrets. Right now all I can prove is that we’ve got a guy who has some good ideas, but he’s not so great on the follow-through. What do you expect me to do with that?”
“That’sallyou know, huh?” he asked, leaning forward again.
“I meant—”
“I follow through with everything important in my life.”
“Really?” Her insides ignited. At least she knew where she ranked on the list of important things in his life. This was exactly why this whole plan was a bad idea. There was no way she could be impartial.
The court erupted below. “Vintooooo!” called Ugo, raising his racket as he and Renata won the match. The couples made their way to the benches.
“Dai, bravi,you deserve it on that one. I was terrible!” Graziella shook her head.
“Maybe you’re a little preoccupied.” Simone smiled. “Or maybe you have cold feet?”
“My feet are warm. It’s the arm that’s cold!” she said, shaking her racket.
