When she sees that I’m not going to budge, she flops down on the bench and watches us eat, sighing wearily.
I feel exposed. I’ve never been around Hannah in the context of a date. Even though she’s not being particularly terrible, I can supply the monologue in Ollie’s head:This is how she raises her daughter? When I have children, they will sit quietly landscape painting and readingWatership Downwhile their parents finish their conversations.I thought like that myself once. I figured that being the opposite of my mom would be sufficient for doing a good job: I would not drink heavily, I would set boundaries, and I would take my children to enrichment classes and cultural events. My children would be creative, academic, confident but polite, definitely not addicted to video games.
All of those plans relied on having another parent to help me out, it turned out. The best I can say is that Hannah has never had to drape a blanket on me while I sleep off a bottle of wine. It’s something, but it’s never felt like I’m getting it right.
Ollie watches me closely as we pack up the picnic. When we get up to walk toward the playground, we fall behind Hannah by a few feet.
“Thanks for putting up with her,” I say.
“There is no putting up involved,” he says firmly.
“She’s being deliberately difficult.”
“I can’t imagine where she picked that up from.”
I laugh, and he squeezes my hand once. I think about how we’re supposed to act like we’re not dating in public, not just because of Hannah but because of our jobs. The very prohibition is making me feel rebellious.
And because I can’t leave well enough alone, I say, “So is your dance partner Eliana back in town? I think she came to one of our practice sessions at Manhattan Swing this week.”
He nods, his eyes fixed on Hannah running ahead of us. “Yeah, she’s back in New York for a bit.”
“Oh yeah?” I sound really casual. Definitely cool and not jealous at all.
“Yeah. She texted me. She is looking for a new partner.”
“Ah.” Is she askingyou? Does she want you back? Doyouwanther?
“I have to talk to her about it. We’re going to get a coffee,” he says.
“Okay.”
He stops walking and looks directly at me. “Hey. Don’t worry, okay?”
“Even if I was the type to get jealous, I would have no excuse after two dates.”
He nods. “I appreciate that, but I’m still asking you not to.”
“So I should cancel the private detective I hired to track your every move?”
“Completely up to you. I don’t want to cut into a small businessman’s freelance income.”
“As long as he’s filling out his 1099-MISC forms,” I say lightly.
“And doing proper withholding of his social security taxes.”
Hannah decides to introduce Ollie to the giant playground in the middle of Central Park, with its mountainous rock to climb, and then immediately takes off to play with another child. Sheseems to have her Aunt Abby’s tendency to want to befriend strangers in New York City.
“So where was your favorite place to play as a child?” Ollie asks as we lean against a wall near the giant climbing rock, watching Hannah from a few yards away.
“Where was yours?” I say.
“Ha,” he says. “I’m not falling for that twice. No changing the topic. You go first.”
“Well, the place where I lived the longest had a really fun abandoned garage that we would play in.” I catch Ollie’s appalled glance. “It wasn’t unsafe. It was actually magical. The house behind us was abandoned, and the garage was right by my yard. We collected garter snakes, and we made a little gang with the other neighborhood kids where we pretended to solve crimes, and that lasted until we moved again.”
“That sounds fun,” he says warily.
I point to a tattoo on my wrist of two flowers. “That was the house where my mom grew these.”
