“Help me get these cars out of here so we can barricade the driveway.”
Clearing out the array of architecture enthusiasts, eclipse chasers, and other miscellaneous wayward souls proved impossible. With every group they’d remove, another Jeep would come rattling down the way with a VW Bus following close behind.
“Don’t worry, we have cash.” A large and preternaturally friendly man burst through the window of a Holiday Rambler. “Your associate wasveryclear on that. Where should we park?”
Lainey shook her head. “It’s not about the cash, it’s—”
A lavender-haired woman appeared in the window from beneath the man’s armpit. “Are you the owner? Did you know your house is featured in theLady Goddess CultHBO doc? Lady Goddess channels it! But according to her, it’s less of a place and more of a spiritual realm—”
“Laurel!” another female voice yelled from inside. Did every vehicle on her property contain the population of a smallprincipality? “Don’t tell her that her house is possessed by a cult leader. It’s rude.”
“So it’s not just architecture nuts and eclipse chasers on my lawn, but also cultists,” Lainey interjected. It wasn’t a question. As evidenced by her surroundings, every restless wanderer from niche corners of the internet had descended upon her home, all eagerly awaiting the sun to set. “Perfect.”
The floppy-haired driver of the camper shrugged apologetically. “So where can we park?”
She had trouble picturing the people in this single camper lying out comfortably on her deck, let alone crowded among swarms of other people. “I’m sorry. There’s been a mistake. This event is canceled. We’re asking everyone to leave.”
“Thesunis canceled?” The woman looked puzzled.
Lainey’s freshly fixed phone vibrated angrily in her hands. “I’m really sorry,” she repeated, answering with a tap and running to the next car. “Bree, I’m sort of in the middle of something.”
“That’s what I’m calling about. We’re getting a bunch of walk-ins looking for rooms, and they’re saying you’re turning away architecture enthusiasts because your ‘campsite’ is overrun with ‘hippies and the unwashed.’ My source for that particular tidbit was literally theworstman I’ve ever met, so thank you for that.”
“That’s an exaggeration,” Lainey replied, much more self-righteously than the moment called for.
“Is that supposed to be the bridge?” a man in a crop top shouted at her through cupped hands. “It’s just a deck.”
She covered the receiver. “It’s an architectural element on a two-bedroom house! What exactly were you expecting?” Shewas already missing the occupants of the Holiday Camper, who she’d sent on their merry way.
“Good,” Bree responded to Lainey’s earlier denial. “Because he told me I have ‘the eyes of aformerlybeautiful woman’ so I’d like to dismiss everything he said on principle, but I’m getting a similar story from other people as well.”
“There was a miscommunication, but we’re getting everyone to leave.”
“They’re flooding the other resorts and campgrounds, so there’s a lot of angry people spreading around this story, and eventually it’s going to get back to you-know-who.”
As if summoned, sirens whooped down her dirt drive. Through the trees, her eyes locked with Elliot, who’d been evacuating tents.
“Bree, I have to go. The sheriff’s here.”
Chapter 21
What’s the “Original Plat”?
The Longest Day of the Year
Under the directionof Trent Bauer—the biggest, beardiest, most dickish of the Bauers—the deputies were much more effective at clearing out the campers. Lainey had made a halfway persuasive argument that they had no evidence anyone would be sleeping overnight. For all the police knew, they were throwing a camping-themed party.
“My brother Brad will love hearing all about this raucous party you were throwing in a house that hasn’t passed an electrical inspection.”
“Just give us the permit violation,” Elliot said, resigned.
Trent looked Elliot up and down, picking his teeth with his pinkie nail. “You the one I hear is shopping at EZ Gas?”
“He’s new in town,” Lainey tried to explain, but Trent held up a dismissive hand.
“He’s not that new.” Trent ripped a piece of paper from his pad and slapped it to Elliot’s chest. “You can pay your citation at the county clerk’s office.”
With twenty minutes to go before sundown, they could still watch the bridge connect, alone on their deck, just as they’d intended. But somehow, it had turned into something that wasn’tat all what they’d imagined. Her foot kicked a crushed McDonald’s wrapper as she took in the torn-up grass. She’d have to take care of that tonight, or the foxes and raccoons would run wild. It felt like her whole life would be determined by the next twenty minutes.
