“That’s not legally required by the state of Wisconsin,” hesaid, his words quick and sharp like a rap to the knuckles. “I checked online. A vow exchange, witness, and license are necessary. The kiss is optional.”
Expectant eyes swung toward Lainey. Heat bloomed in her cheeks, and humiliation sunk to the soles of her shoes. She looked at her groom, officiant, and witness, then at the onion volcano she guessed Chef Nemoto had timed to their now nonexistent lip lock.
“Ooh!” Isaac marveled. Their chef/officiant really knew how to put on a show.
Elliot leaned in close, his breath warm on the shell of her ear. “Strictly business,” he whispered, his voice warm.
Lainey gave herself exactly one second to feel the sharp sting of disappointment. Then she rolled her shoulders back and, just like that, his embarrassing swerve no longer had an effect on her. At least, not that anyone could see.
“Yes, it’s important that his face not experience any skin-to-skin contact.” She lowered her voice to a whisper that was somehow decibels louder than her ordinary speaking volume. “It’s this fungal thing. He’s very private about it.”
Beside her, Elliot made a choking sound.
“Don’t be embarrassed, honey.” Lainey drew delicate circles on his back, smiling up at him like a viper. “This is Benihana. When you’re here, you’re family.”
“I think that’s Olive Garden,” Isaac murmured.
“Oh, I’m not allowed inside those.”
Technically, it was Gran who was banned from that particular chain restaurant, but Lainey enjoyed the way blood drained from Elliot’s face when she said things like that.
Chef Nemoto sniffed the air intently. “Swisher Sweets. Anthony’s back. The marriage license will be wrapped around thecheck, and you can Venmo my fee. Now, sit down, and don’t look like you just got married.”
“Sorry,” they both replied. Their eyes flicked to each other and then back to the chef. She pressed her hand to her hot cheek and sunk into her chair.
“Bro, about your fungus thing, I just wanna say I think you’re really brave,” Isaac offered with astonishing sincerity.
“Thanks, man.” Elliot clapped his best acquaintance on the shoulder.
“I’ll do anything for a little midday Beni. Opa!” Isaac yelled as the onion tower ignited in flames.
“That’s not…” Lainey started to correct him but then gave up the fight, fixing her gaze on the fire licking up the pyramid of sliced rings.
“Thank you, too,” Elliot whispered against her temple, his pinkie grazing her thigh under the table with small, deliberate movements. Suddenly, she was certain he’d known exactly how much he’d rattled her by heading off that kiss.
“Of course,” she said. The weight of his eyes pressed against her skin as he surveyed her reaction. Her lips felt dryer than sandpaper, and it took every ounce of restraint not to wet them with her tongue while he watched.
It was possible Elliot Hodges was more formidable than she’d thought. She ruminated on that fact for the remainder of lunch, unable to contemplate anything aside from the pinkie at her thigh, even as she clapped lazily for the man at the neighboring table, who’d caught a shrimp in his shirt pocket.
Chapter 8
Salvador Dalí Made It a Point to Steal Pens
57 Days until Busy Season
When the billcame, Lainey reached out her hand with the dexterity of a T. rex.
“Please. Don’t pull anything,” Elliot said, swapping out the marriage license for his credit card. Then they walked to the parking lot with palpable awkwardness, stopping only when their feet had carried them to the space between their cars. After all that, did they just leave? Were they supposed to go to another restaurant to celebrate their nuptials fromthisrestaurant? What did married life look like for two people committing health-care fraud for the sake of a real estate transaction?
“Is the ring okay?” he asked, breaking the tension. Or building it. She wasn’t sure. “I assumed there was just one kind, but Kostas had a surprisingly large selection.”
“No, I like it,” she responded. Their eyes fell to the delicate band.
She looked down at his empty ring finger. “I never put yours on,” she realized.
“Yeah, I was waiting for him to tell us to do something with it, but…” He pulled the ring out of his pocket and held it between his pinched fingers.
She plucked the band from his hand. “Let me. You put mine on. We should do one thing the normal way on our wedding day, since we won’t be—”
