He followed behind me bare feet, grabbing his big chain off the nightstand. “Nah, I’m comin’ with you. You ain’t walking into no warzone alone. The fuck…”
“This ain’t your world,” I told him, stopping just long enough to face him. “You don’t get to step into it like you stepping into a locker room after a game. This shit don’t work like that.”
He frowned but kept coming. “You think I’m gon’ just let you run toward danger by yo’self?” he shot back. “Fuck no.”
I swallowed hard because I didn’t have time to argue, didn’t have time to think, and didn’t have time to breathe. The look in his eyes told me he wasn’t backing down but my phone lit up with a Royal encrypted ping before I could say another word.
My heart shot straight up into my throat. “Move,” I told him, pushing past him and unlocking the deadbolt. “I gotta get to my family like right now.”
The TV was still on, and the headlines were still going as I yanked the door open. The whole world was burning, at least that’s what it felt like, and now, so was mine. Our mama’s name kept lighting up across my screen like a damn siren, call after call after call, but I still didn’t answer because I didn’t know enough yet to fill her in and I’m sure that’s why she was calling. No, I couldn’t talk to her, not until I knew what the hell was going on and who was still breathing. If she was blowing me up like that, she’d seen the news too, and the last thing I needed was her panicking until I had the facts straight.
Malik was still zipping up his pants, slightly out of breath, still processing the way I damn near broke my ankle diving for the remote. The glow from the flat screen shined over his fine ass body, and his expression went from confused to something I couldn’t even read, Malik loved me, I saw it in his eyes, but my mind just wouldn’t let me to allow him.
“You think cause I’m not in that world I’m not supposed to give a fuck O…” he shook his head, staring at the live footage of the courthouse chaos. “If you didn’t want me to love you, you shouldn’t have fucked with me.” He pointed at the screen. “See that shit right there? You brought me in this life when youdecided to get personal with me and now you mad cause a nigga don’t wanna run.”
I didn’t even crack a smile. My pulse was too damn loud in my chest. “Get dressed,” I snapped, forcing my hoodie over my head. “Now isn’t the time.”
My phone started vibrating again but this time it was Dique and I answered instantly.
“O, where you at?” he barked. “I’m at the hospital but shit locked down. They got all these damn news bees swarmin’ outside shovin’ cameras in my face talkin’ ‘bout ‘Is Dom the shooter? Is the Miami King retaliating?’ Man, I almost slapped a few minutes ago. They got me fucked up.”
His breathing was hard, but his voice was tight. I knew his biggest concern was the fact that not only Carmen, but our niece or nephew could’ve seriously been harmed. I knew what he felt because I felt it too. Call it that twins’ connection.
“I’m on my way,” I told him, already stomping toward the door. “Don’t move from her floor. If ma shows up, don’t let her lose it.”
“Too late,” he said. “She already actin’ like she ‘bout to whoop the whole hospital and she ain’t even here. I picked up and had to hang up; shit she didn’t even give me a chance to talk.”
The car was already waiting out front. Malik threw on his fitted and followed me, still trying to wrap his head around the shit he’d just been thrown into and why I keep pushing him away. We slid into the back seat together, and I yelled off the hospital address before the door even shut. My hands were shaking, but nobody would’ve known but God himself.
We didn’t get far before I tapped the driver. “Pull over.”
The driver eased onto the shoulder of the street and stopped. Malik lifted both hands like he was getting arrested. “Yo… why we stopping?” he asked with his eyes bouncing between me and the tinted windows. “O… what’s goin’ on? You kicking me outthe car? After all that? You can’t just drop a nigga off like trash pickup day.”
I didn’t look at him yet. I kept my eyes forward while adrenaline rushed to my tight chest. “You’re not coming with me where I’m going,” I said in a steady voice. “This next part ain’t for you. I keep telling you that.”
He blinked hard as hell with a stone look on his face. “Are you serious right now? Because five seconds ago we was fuckin’ like we was making a baby and now you tryna act like you don’t give a fuck about somebody who’s trying to give a fuck about you.”
“I know what we were, and what we be doing, ” I said. “But this shit is different.”
The driver unlocked the passenger side anyway. Malik stared at me like I was speaking Chinese. “O… this some fucked up shit right here.”
I finally looked at him then… in his face… his eyes, and the way he looked completely unprepared for my world even though he tried to act like he wasn’t.
“You don’t gotta understand it,” I sighed. “Just get out the car.”
Before he could argue again, the driver hit the button to unlock the door once again. Malik stared at me through the half open door like he couldn’t believe what was happening. The truck was still idled on the shoulder with the engine humming real low as the Miami humidity slipped inside the truck mixing with the AC. For a second he didn’t move and didn’t blink. It looked like he wasn’t even breathing. He flexed his jaws so tight, I thought he would crack it with his fine ass.
“You know I play ball,” he said in a calm voice but deep enough to let me know he was all man. “But I ain’t no pussy, O’. You not ‘bout to treat me like some lil side nigga you can drop off when shit get crazy.”
This time, I kept my eyes straight ahead because looking at him would’ve made it worse. “I’m not doing that,” I whispered, even though I was lying. He just didn’t understand.
He chuckled but sounded more disappointed than anything. “You literally dropping me off… on the side of the road,” he said, using his hand to gesture at the cars shooting by. “What the hell you want me to think?”
I swallowed hard, staring at the windshield. “I just… I can’t take you to that hospital with me. Not with everything going on. You don’t understand it right now but in time, you will.”
“I understand more than you think,” he said cutting me off. His voice softened, but not weak. “I got feelings for you, O’ like real ones but I’m not gon’ chase after somebody who got one foot in my life and the other foot running out the door every time shit gets crazy.”
That one stung deep. He stepped out, closed the door firm but not disrespectful, and leaned down to my window. His eyes were on mine now and they were still solid. “When you ready to choose somethin’ other than fear of letting a man love you,” he said, “you know how to reach me.”
