“Also,” I said, finally looking up, “tell them if they want direct deposit this week they need to stop putting Cash App cards on file like I’m stupid.”
Trina laughed harder this time. “Okay.”
“And close my door when you leave.”
The second she stepped out, the office got quiet again, a little too quiet. I leaned back in the chair and rubbed my temples because I was tired, but not the kind of tired sleep fixed. I couldn’t stop thinking about Malik and that was the real problem. Ever since I dropped him off on the side of the road like he was some random man and not somebody I had feelings for, he had been ignoring me.
At first I told myself I didn’t care because I had too much other shit going on to be worried about one man acting emotional. Then a day passed, then another, and now here I was sitting in my office checking my phone every twenty minutes like some little girl and I hated it. I hated that I even cared. I picked my phone up again and looked at the last text I sent him and still no response. Then I looked at the last missed call I had made to him and no callback. I sucked my teeth and tossed the phone back on the desk.
“Fine then,” I muttered to myself. “Fuck you too.”
But even saying it didn’t make me feel better because I knew he had every right to be mad. I had treated him like he was disposable. Like because I was scared for him, I could just make the decision for both of us and push him away before he got too close. The crazy part was I knew exactly where I got that from. I got it from Dom. That’s how he used to be too. He used to push Carmen away every time shit got real because he thought loving somebody meant putting them in danger. He thought if he kept enough distance, it would protect her and look at them now.
I picked up the encrypted phone instead of my regular one because after everything that happened with Carmen, I wasn’t talking on nothing that could be tapped or listened to. She answered after the second ring.
“Hey.” Her voice sounded softer than usual and tired too.
“How you feeling?” I asked spinning around in my chair staring at the ceiling.
“I’m okay.” She replied, but I didn’t believe that.
“You lying?” I raised a brow. “Bitch don’t be lying to me.”
“No,” she said, and I could hear her smile a little through the phone. “I’m really okay. Just sore girl.”
“You should be in bed.”
“I am in bed.”
“You better be.”
She laughed softly. “Damn, you sound like Dom.”
“Trust me, ain’t nobody sound like Dom when he in one of his moods.”
That made her laugh harder. I leaned back in my chair once again and looked out the big glass window at the club floor below me this time. Dudes were starting to come in by the groups now. Security was walking girls to sections. One of the bartenders had her ass halfway hanging out her skirt which was a typical night.
“I heard about Riverside,” I said after a second. There was a little pause but of course her ass was still on the line.
“Did you?” Carmen carefully asked.
“Please, I know my brother and so do you.”
Then finally she sighed. “I don’t ask questions right now; he has to do what he has to do.”
“You don’t have to ask questions.” I said. Because neither one of us was stupid. If Dom found out who was behind that hit, somebody was dead. It was that simple.
“You mad?” I asked.
“Nope,” she responded. “I just… I don’t know. I hate all of this right now.”
I knew exactly what she meant. It was the violence, the retaliation, and the way blood always answered blood, but this was our life.
“I know,” I said.
“But I also know him,” she added softly. “And if somebody came after you or Candy D or one of his brothers like that, I’d be sitting here right now knowing the same thing.”
That was true too and for a second neither one of us said anything. Then she spoke again. “What’s wrong O’?”
