My phone rings and I pull it from my pocket, seeing Clayton’s name across my screen. “Hey,” I answer.
“Hey, where are you?”
“I’m with Mav,” I tell him.
“You snuck out this morning.” His voice is still raspy and laced with sleep. He is also right. I did sneak out. Just as the sun was rising, I slipped out of the room, carefully and quietly, and found Mav at our spot.
“Yeah, I did. I’m sorry about that. I’m coming back to you right now.”
“Are you mad at me?”
I think of what Mav just said to me. “No. I hear you and I see you.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I’ll be back in ten.”
“See you then.”
I wave goodbye to Mav. Walking out of the woods, instead of going to the dorms I stop at Becky’s. Ordering a gluten-free cinnamon roll and a black coffee with two pumps of caramel. As I'm waiting,Amberlyn walks into the shop. She looks at me and I look at her, but she quickly turns her head. Anger rises inside of me, but I think of Clayton and don’t do anything about it.
They call out my name and I grab the order before heading toward my dorm.
“Hey,” I say in greeting as I walk in to my room.
“You got me breakfast?” He smiles, but it almost seems skeptical as if I’m playing a prank.
“Coffee and a gluten-free cinnamon roll.”
“Oh,” he rolls his eyes, tilting his neck to the side with a mmm sound. “You’re the best.” Clayton grabs the goods from me and pauses, looking right at my face. “You’re sure you’re not mad?”
“No. Mav and I talked,” I say, telling him exactly what my friend said.
“He’s smart. Didn’t think he had it in him,” Clayton jokes. I laugh.
“Neither did I, honestly.”
Clayton takes a sip of his coffee and a bite of his pastry before setting both down on the desk. He comes over to me, grabbing my arms and putting them around his neck, hands sitting on my waist. We look into each other's eyes, silence taking over, but it’s not uncomfortable like it was last night. It’s peaceful and it feels nice to stand here with him. Seeing him and him seeing me.
Leaning in, I kiss him. Slow at first, until he leans in closer and deepens the kiss. My fingers grip at the hair at the base of his neck. My hips push into his, tongue sliding into his mouth.
All I need is this. Us. Having love.
I know there’s still anger inside of me. I think it will always be there, simmering and begging to be free. Always has since I was a kid, but when I’m with Clayton it's not so loud.
“Do you trust me?” Clayton breaks the kiss, whispering the question.
For a moment, I thought he had broken that trust, but in hindsight, he told his parents because he was concerned. It came from a good place. I realize that now, with the help of Mav, but it makes the answer easy.
“Yes.”
“Good,” he smirks, hands reaching down to the waistline of my sweatpants and pushing them down. Then my boxers and my shirt until I’m standing here in nothing. Yet he is still fully clothed.
“This isn’t very fair,” I jest.
“Oh, my bad,” he mocks before undressing himself. I watch every move he makes. The way his abs and arms flex. The way his muscles in his thighs tighten when he moves his leg up to pull out of his pants.
Everything about him is magical.
