This was all according to plan and I’m meant to break his heart, so why does it feel like mine is going to be the one that breaks when I pull the plug?
“We are heading home soon,” I respond. Just the two of us are going on the ride. Dax and Mav said and I quote‘fuck that pussy shit.’
The line moves slowly and Clayton uses the railing to carry himself closer as it inches forward.
“You alright?” I ask.
“Yeah. I think I might have a sunburn on my neck. Definitely my arms,” he says, shoving his t-shirt sleeve up. His shoulder is pale white and it shows how red he is.
I pull down the back of his shirt, showing some of his back and can see how burned his neck is too. “Yeah, for sure. We can stop and get some aloe on the way back.”
“Next up,” the ride operator announces and that’s our cue. I hold onto Clayton’s arm to steady him.
We should definitely head back after this ride. It’s been a long day and he looks as though he’s going to pass out just standing.
As we get into the cart, the operator asks us if we are okay with a single rider coming with us. Clayton says of course and acts all nice as he does. We sit on the same side, the stranger sitting across from us. Me and Clayton’s legs threaten to tangle, the cart almost two small for both of us to be on the same side. I throw my arm up and rest it behind him.
As the ride moves up, going higher and higher, the sky with vibrant colors bright behind Clayton. The sight is too much for me and I have to look away.
“You two are cute,” the girl across from us says. Both Clayton and I whip our heads toward her.
“We are, aren’t we?” I say. His head whips toward me now.
“Don’t,” he whispers.
“What?”
“Don’t pretend. You’ll only break my heart.”
Silence falls around us, not wanting to say anything in front of the person we don’t know. The ride goes. Stopping and starting to let people off. We sit and take in the sight of the horizon, the view of the park, and all of the flashy lights on rides. Today has been filled with adrenaline. Everything that I live for, but that single line from Clayton seems to make everything fade away. Only thinking about that and nothing else.
The ride stops and the operator opens our gate, but the line is empty.
“Can we go again? Just us.” I ask.
“The ride is closing, sorry.”
“Just five minutes.”
“What are you doing?” Clayton asks, but I ignore him.
“Sir,” I began, but he cut me off.
“Five minutes.”
The gate closes and the ride begins again, but this time it never stops. Going in slow circle after circle since we are alone on this run.
“What do you mean I’ll break your heart?”
“All we are and ever can be is friends. Don’t give the wrong impression. I know you aren’t into guys, Max.”
“Are you into me?”
Silence.
A silence that speaks far louder than words ever could.
“Why haven’t you told me?”
