I don’t believe him. I think he is trying to make me feel better, but it isn’t working.
God, I want to put her head through a wall.
She doesn’t get to just live with this. How does she get to ruin who he was? Change him? And she gets to what? Run around campus like a good girl.Fuck. That.
My hands fist in my hair again, wanting to rip it out of my skull. Instead I grip my own wrist and dig my nails into my skin, hoping the pain will distract me from the onslaught of anger.
It doesn't.
Clayton takes my hands, stopping me from hurting myself.
“No wonder you didn't like me. Probably suspected I'm some asshole at parties, always doing what I want.” I laugh, but it's humorless.
“No. Stop. Look at me, at my face.” I do. I stare right into those emerald pools of his. “You're everything I could have been but was stripped of. I was jealous. It doesn't matter though. In the short time I've known you, I've learned so much. You give to others, you care,you're so fucking smart. You live life. Okay? Do you understand that I'm not mad? You need to calm down, alright?”
I try to suck in deep breaths, but they're sloppy and stuttering out of my throat.
Clayton pulls my body into his, wrapping his arms around me. He's a couple inches taller than me and it makes me sink into him just right. Falling into all of his muscles and feeling like everything could just melt away. Leaning more into him, wrapping my arms around him, everything inside of me softens. The anger. That absolute rage at that fucking girl.
He's okay. He's adapted, but he shouldn't have had to.
I'm going to make Amberlyn pay.
Clayton
The anger pouring out of Max is concerning, but I can’t deny how impressed I am by the way he keeps his cool. He isn’t lashing out, throwing or hitting anything.
My arms open, letting go of him. I hadn’t known what to do and I thought that hugging him would help. I was right. Hugs prompt the release of serotonin and endorphins, so naturally, it made him calmer.
He steps away, looking me in the eyes. I see his wrist, the crescent moons that he embedded into his own skin.
“Why do you do that?” I point at his wrist.
“Sometimes tugging on my hair isn’t enough. Sometimes when the emotions inside of me are too big, I have to cause pain to myself,” he admits, booking a little sad.
“That’s not healthy.”
“It’s that or violence to others.” He shrugs. “Sometimes it’s both. I can’t promise that if I see Amberlyn I won’t ring her neck like a wet towel.”
“I’m oddly flattered.”
“I wasn’t kidding either, you know? As long as I’m around you, you’ll be safe.”
I give him a small smile. I believe him, but I try not to either. I don’t want to trust him because if I do, I might fall. The worst part? I think I might anyway and he’s not going to catch me.
Chapter 11
Maxwell
It’sbeentwodayssince Clayton told me what happened to him.
It’s also been two days that I haven’t seen Amberlyn on campus which I think is an interesting coincidence. She’s someone I see often, always reaching out. I know she isn’t aware that I know, the timing is just funny.
I’ve had two shifts at the convenience store in town which could also be a good reason as to why I haven’t seen her.
I’m here now, stocking in the soda aisle when I hear a group of people coming around the corner. As if I manifested it, Amberlyn is with a group of other girls. I recognize one of them, but the other two I’m unfamiliar with.
She notices me and smiles wild at me, completely forgetting how I treated her over the weekend.
